


Cellar Secrets

by Amoridere



Series: One-Shots [9]
Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Abusive Parents, Child Abuse, Family Secrets, Feral Behavior, Feral Children, Mental Health Issues, Mystery, On Hiatus until I get more ideas, Secrets, cellar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 39
Words: 32,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4872469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoridere/pseuds/Amoridere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Every family has secrets, there is no lie in that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

Every family has secrets, there is no lie in that. Likewise, I never knew of the horrid secrets my family hid in the cellar. I always knew, ever since Nui and I were very young, that the cellar was something to be avoided. We were conditioned as such and we never knew why we had to avoid the cellar. Of course, coincidentally, my father left and never returned and our mother became more distant than what she was before. 

Rei often told me that cellar held a secret. Naturally, Nui and I were curious, however, the secretary warned us that Mother (to whom we reffered to as the Mistress) would beat us. No one knows the Mistress as much as she does and had the scars to match any sort of beating. Of course, like us, Rei hadn't too much of a clue as to what the secret was but she feared it. Why was something neither us could explain or comprehend but we knew it had to be instinctive. The Mistress ruled her house with an iron fist and Rei made it clear that _no one_ was to ask the cellar. 


	2. The Mystery of the Cellar Door and the Girl in the Photograph

The cellar hid a dirty little secret and all families have secrets, thus our family was no different. No matter how curious we were, we remembered Rei's scars and never thought to open the door. There were things we knew about the cellar. At night, we heard some kind of pained wails, which vaguely sounded like crying, and it came exactly from behind that door. There was also the fact that the door was dead-bolted and padlocked. There was no denying something lived down there, as the Mistress was bitten whatever our family's secret so happened to be. 

Whatever our family's dirty little secret was, it feared her just as much as we did. We never knew why but even a housefly could tell it feared the Mistress enough to bite her. Whatever it was so happened to have been brave, as it bit her, leaving her with a scarred hand when she healed. Quietly, we found our frightened selves admiring it. Of course, eventually, we resolved to call "it" a "she" and she became known as only "She", as neither of us knew what to call her otherwise and, as far as we knew, "She" was female.

"Once," Nui whispered, one night, when she was eight, "I found a photo in the attic of a little girl." I was intrigued naturally and asked her what did she look like, to which Nui responded, "Oh, well, she looked really sad, had black hair with a streak, and blue eyes." At the time, I dismissed the possibility that this little girl in the photo was the cellar secret, at the same time, said photo like the ones of our father, was hidden away, leaving us to unaware of its existence, until Nui found it in the attic. The attic, like the cellar, also had secrets, however, very much unlike the cellar, the Mistress didn't care if we had gone up there and neither were we not allowed. 

Like that padlocked cellar door and as time passed since Nui mentioned the little girl in the photo, I found myself instinctively drawn to her, yet nothing in my mind made a connection between her and the presence downstairs. Of course, I wanted no more to unravel both mysteries, yet, I wasn't too particularly sure as to how. Nui did bring up that Rei may know who the girl was, which would be somewhat preposterous as Rei is a very fearful soul, who'd much sooner commit suicide than reveal what she knew for fear of the Mistress' punishment. Still, she wanted no more than to ask that secretary what she knew, to which I said, "No! Leave Rei be, you'll drive her to her grave if you ask."   


	3. Unraveling Threads

Years after finding the photograph, the mystery still remained and the Mistress' sanity seemed to be unraveling. Then again, so was Rei's, her fearful kindhearted browbeaten secretary, after years of abuse. By that point, childhood was coming to its close and adolescence was being born. Nui and I, while curious, were not as naive as before and, yet, it was a mystery as to how we remained sane through that turbulent time.

To some extent, with her losing her mind, we couldn't help but to silently relish the thought of her being carted away to an asylum. Said thought was also a nightmarish one, as we pictured her going away kicking and screaming, madly flailing her arms and screaming about how valuable she is or something of that sort. Either way, it will have been good riddance, as Nui had pointed out that being locked away is what she deserves, seeing as she's did lock _someone_ away without any qualms and that she won't be able to hurt anyone again.

As the threads to her mind unraveled and as she started to fall further in various addictions, she started scapegoating her rage onto anyone or anything she saw. Rei learned to avoid her instinctively and we often took refuge in the attic, sometimes sleeping up there at night. Said incidents like that became common occurrence, however, what we didn't expect was for her wander the streets half-dressed or with panties around an ankle, shrieking loudly.

Once, one night, as I remember, she was begging, running about the house and streets begging for someone to stop haunting her. At first, I thought our father was haunting her, after all, he did leave and never return. I was to find myself wrong in that assumption for reasons only visceral. That night, the night of her begging, was the final nail in the coffin.

After that, she was placed in an institution, taking whatever secrets she had with her and leaving us in Rei's custody, orphans.

Sadly, that wasn't too last very long either. After about a couple to at least a few years, when Nui was thirteen and a half and I was nearing eighteen, we came home from school to EMTs pushing a gurney with a white cloth over it into an ambulance and police outside. Nui couldn't comprehend, yet I knew. Rei had ended her life, calling emergency services as she was dying.


	4. Rei's Diary

Her funeral was a quiet one and it served as a reminder that we were very much alone. The Mistress was instituionalized, our father was gone, and Rei had taken her life. I could only hope that she left behind some clues as to why she had taken her life and what the was in the cellar. Naturally, we hoped to set "She" free and let her know that no one will ever hurt her again. 

Afterwards, I recieved emmancipation and custody of Nui. Some time after her death and as we were packing up her things, Nui came across her diary. Typically, it is often not advised to read someone's diary, however, in light of the circumstances, we felt it was thus. For once, the dead told tales and Rei had many tales she would have very much wanted to tell.

Nui turned her page to the first entry....

* * *

 

_Broken Glass,_

_I feel as though I committed a grave sin. I know what she's doing is wrong, yet I cannot do anything about it. I watched as she put that little girl in the cellar, just for being born. It was years ago, yet, I knew. I should have contacted the authorities when for all the years I had known, however, I was afraid of what she may do the girl. The mental damage, I know, may not be undone, however, I knew not of what she could do if she so much as found out if I told. I wasn't given a choice and, if I had it any other way, I wouldn't have allowed that to happen to her._

_Pity I had let that happen to her, the Mistress hadn't even given her name. Knowing that, in combination of knowing she imprisoned that girl in the cellar, my heart is no more than broken glass._

_\---Rei_

* * *

 

"Do you think the little girl in the cellar is the one in the photo?" Nui asked me, looking at me with doe eyes. By this point, my mind and memories started to put clues together. The very first diary entry stated who the cellar secret was and there was a hidden photo of a little girl. I suppose it would be worth noting that said photo, while it had a date, didn't even have name written on the back of it. As far as everyone outside of family knew, this little girl, the cellar secret, didn't even exist.

  
We wanted to know more about this girl in the cellar and we wanted know more of Rei had to say on the matter pertaining to that subject. As we read, we found her diary entries had grown more and more melancholic, as she stated how she was feeling and about how much she thought about the girl in the cellar, along with stating that she was wondering as to what name to give her. We continued reading until we came to her last entry...

* * *

 

_Goodbye_

_I had been watching the sunset a lot, lately. Somehow, despite it all, it seems to offer me some comfort. I don't know why it does, just the fact that it does. Of course, I suppose, my sun is setting now. The Mistress is locked away now, yet, while that fact comforts me, I cannot move on from what haunts me. I can only say I am sorry for that and I hope I can be forgiven for that, really._

_They say dead women tell no tales, however, I do have a few last secrets to reveal, for once allowing my voice to be heard. Satsuki, Nui, if you are reading this, then this means I had passed on, please forgive me. Anyway, before I go I must reveal what has been long buried._

_For one, the keys to the cellar are in your mother's jewelry box, located on a shelf in her office. As much as it pains me to write this but girls, as you might already know, your father isn't coming back and that he's tragically passed away those years. I found out about his demise I tried to find him while before your mother was incarcerated._

_My only regret is leaving you all alone and not giving her a name. Forgive me._

_\---Rei_

* * *

 

There was no way to describe how we felt about that. Our mother, the dreaded Mistress, was locked away in an asylum, our father had been dead for years, Rei commited suicide recently, and we have a sister who was not only locked away but was virtually forgotten by all but Rei and the Mistress. To top it off, said little sister never had a name.


	5. "Ryuuko"

Our little sister deserved better than what she had. I resolved to do things right. I was to start by giving her a proper name and taking her out of the cellar, doing what our mother hadn't done. Our hearts shattered for her and the pain she was caused. If I had it any other way, I will have prefered to join her down there or have all three of us leave this dreadful rotten place. Perhaps, when I gain enough money to move out, we will burn the place to the ground.

As Nui held a plate of food and after we found the keys, I unlocked the padlocks and deadbolts and, after switching on a flashlight, we descended the starts. In the farthest corner, we saw a glint of metal and heard a faint whimpering. Shining the flashlight in her direction, we saw her. Blue eyes and black hair with a red streak, her, our sister who had been locked away. She shied away from the light and raised her hands to her face as if to protect herself.

"It's okay, we're not going to hurt you, she's gone now." Nui reassured, poking bits of the food through the cage. The action itself intrigued her, causing her to brush her fingertips against the former's hand. It was infantile in its nature her interaction was, yet she interacted the only she could, expressing her curiosity. Once she did that, she quickly pulled her hand away, apparently not so shy any longer. She stared at us, tilting her head here and there, as if trying to gauge out a memory.

As we watched her, we couldn't figure out how old she was, however, it was clear that, while she is youngest, we didn't know how much younger she was than Nui and her looks didn't help either, as, she didn't seem to have grown past a certain age. Her interaction seemed to imply that she couldn't talk and neither was she too used to not being struck. It was clear that she had been living like this since she was very little, however, she did have some interaction, at the same time, it wasn't enough to keep her functional.

Damage like this cannot be too easily reversed and she needed help immediately. Not too sure as to how to get her out, we resolved to use bolt cutters and cut it open. I was furious at our mother for making her live like that. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. Rei's diary pages answered some questions, yet she never knew why our sister lived in near total isolation.

Once we got her upstairs and despite Nui's protests, I contacted the authorities. "They'll take her away!" she cried, frightening her, to which I said, "Yes, that may be but we cannot help her otherwise, Nui." She lowered her head and said, "Could we at least give her a name?" I hadn't forgotten, however, I wasn't sure what to name her. As I deliberated on the subject, Nui said, "Let's call her ' _Ryuuko'_ , 'cause it makes sense."

"Ryuuko", the effectively abandoned child. It did make sense, after all, she was abandoned, practically discarded, in the cellar, and she, like all discarded children, hadn't a name. The Mistress had shown her very little if any love and she was so physically and psychologically destroyed by her circumstances, effectively speaking, abandoning her to the isolating darkness of the cellar and to her abuse.


	6. Aikurou

No one at the hospital knew how to help Ryuuko, however, Aikurou stepped forward. Aikurou, I should note, is someone our father had known, yet we didn't know, actually, we don't recall meeting him and, apparently, he's our father's cousin. While he is off in some regards, he did very much want to help her, even if he didn't know how or know us personally.

From his observations, he said, "If I didn't know any better, I would say her age can't be very far from Nui's and she might have been living like that since her formative years, if her lack of speech is a clue. She knows language, however, it seems she just can't use it in syntaxes, thus making up her own. She moves around on all fours, likely because her leg bones and spine may have some abnormalities or the development might be stunted in them, on top of being made to live in a cage, which in turn didn't allow for her move around very much. Fortunately, she doesn't seem to be too particularly far from recovery, however, she'll remain stunted in some areas of her development but not all."

As we observed her, she turned to us and made something of a gesture. While we couldn't understand it, it was clear she was trying to communicate with us, getting frustrated when it seemed we weren't paying attention. In her frustration, she made more gestures and became verbal, saying, "Ahnt." It was utterance, yet it was clear that she was expressing that she wanted something. While that was the case, what she wanted was something we didn't know, to which Aikurou said, "She probably wants her sisters."

Gently, he ushered us closer to her, prompting her to cease her gesturing and reach her hand out. Her groping fingers made way for the braid in my hair, clasping it in a light grasp, as she lightly fingered it. She made eye contact with me as she did it, only breaking it when she repeated the action with Nui. Once she was finished with her interactions with us, she opted to curl up and look at us.

"Some of her memories might still be intact, as she seems to recognize you. If not, she may recognize that you mean no harm to her. Oddly, the same cannot be said about how she felt about the doctors, considering that she had bitten one, scratched another, and almost injured herself trying to get away from them." he reasoned.

Affectionately, he opted to call her "Princess", a word she curiously repeated, asking, "P'incess?" Rehabilitation for her would be long, yet she needed help, however, she did have much to work with but she would still remain stunted.

When Nui stated I shouldn't have contacted the authorities, Aikurou was quick to defend, saying, "Well, in all due fairness, Nui, contacting the authorities is really the only way Princess could receive help as what is the matter is beyond your scope of reasoning and Satsuki was only emancipated and received custody of you fairly recently, roughly a week or two ago. Of course, you've just gotten to know her a little and has already lost most your family at this point, so your concerns and upsets are reasonable."

 


	7. Fallen Angel

**Chapter opening theme:** _[Fallen Angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFonM-HrVdI)_  by Molly Svrcina 

* * *

 

After visiting Ryuuko in the hospital and making sure Nui was well attended to after school, I put on my funeral dress and took the bus to the asylum where the Mistress as committed. It was a long yet quiet bus ride. Long enough for me to reflect on my memories and thoughts. I was going to confront her about what she did and what she knew. I wanted her to know of how much she destroyed us, especially Ryuuko.

I had to come to turns with the fact that, while the one who gave birth to us, the dreaded Mistress, our mother destroyed our lives. I had remembered it all. I remember when our father left, our mother losing her mind, leaving Rei to commit her, and when our lives were shattered yet again when we came home to find out that Rei committed suicide, leaving her side of the story to be told in her tear-stained diary pages. I remember when we found Ryuuko and how scared she was of us and the light and when Aikurou stepped forward to offer us aid.

I especially remembered how we would now have to live with the sins of her, our mother. Every family has secrets and, frankly, I wish we were different. We had a secret. A little girl was locked in a cage, in dark cellar just for being born, and was virtually forgotten. Oh no, I would not forget those bitter memories. If the Mistress was angel, then she had long fallen from grace and there is no way in hell that she'd even find her way back home again.

I had got there at around 7:00 post meridian and asked for "Ragyo Kiryuuin." I was taken to her room. Unsurprisingly, she was restrained and staring off into nothing. It seems she had dissociated from what her surroundings, much like Ryuuko seemed to. To some extent, despite the harm she caused, I pitied her, yet, the pity I had did not replace the anger I felt. I had a purpose for coming here and, afterwards, I'd be done with her forever.

While she stared off into nothing, I pulled up a chair. I sat quietly next to her for about 20 minutes before saying, " How are you, Mother?" She twitched and looked at me with empty eyes, apparently, I had caught her attention, if it be for a brief moment, as she looked away after. This would begin a long and mostly one-sided conversation. "Rei passed away." I said, idly, almost matter of fact, much like how one would refer to an afterthought.

"...."

"Funny. I figured you'd never answer, after all, you may as well have had a hand in her death."

"Huh...?"

"Oh, yes, she passed away recently and her death was a suicide. She killed herself because of something you did and something she knew."

Her eyes were wider than what they were now and they were looking at me. I may have detected fear in them.

"Yes, that is why she killed herself. She killed herself because she knew you put a little girl in the cellar."

She let out a shriek.

"She killed herself because she saw you put our little sister in the cellar and, because she was too afraid of your punishment for her and our sister, she kept the horrible act a secret."

"...."

"No response. Fine by me, as I would like you to listen. She killed herself because she was overcome with guilt and regret because of your sins. She was afraid for that then nameless little girl locked away, so she kept the whole affair and that girl a secret. The only part she played was being the secret keeper."

"...!"

"She was the secret keeper for something you did. What you did, I should note, I think to be rather unforgivable. It is no wonder you reside here, tied to a bed and staring off into nothing, as you've gone too far down the road to go back to where you came."

She breathed raspily before staring at the ceiling.

"If you were an angel, then you had long fallen from grace. You destroyed lives, I hope you realize."

The faint of tears I saw in the corners of her eyes.

"You destroyed lives beyond any real repair and, fittingly, you've destroyed your own life. You destroyed Rei's with your abuse and a child you wanted to keep hidden. You also destroyed Ryuuko's, the child you never named and kept hidden, by keeping her locked away in a cage in a cellar, allowing her development and growth to become stunted. You didn't just destroy her life, you destroyed ours with your secrets and abuse. You hurt us and you're going to be living with that for the rest of your life."

Tears rolled down her face, as she almost coherently whispered, "I danced with the devil and I'm so ashamed." It was genuine regret, as only she could articulate. I asked her, "Did he mention that you'd have to pay?" to which she whispered, "Please forgive me."

Visiting hours ended and I had taken yet another long ride home. Still, like earlier, it was long enough for me to reflect. I had confronted her and, frankly, I would have to say my anger towards her had dissipated. She did what she did and there was no turning back from it, pretending the impressions could be reversed. Forgiveness would come at a time but there may be no reconciliation, all that has passed and gone. My memories of that woman will always be bitter, yet I had to do what Rei nor the woman herself could do and that was move on.

* * *

 **Chapter Ending theme:** _["Kalyan"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTpY1q-c19s)  _ by Fernwood

 


	8. To Reclaim What was Lost

 

Ryuuko was very much like a premature baby, especially since she could come home after a long time after her stay in the hospital and then an institution. Apparently, she made progress, seeing as she would try to stand on two legs, although she wouldn't stand very long, as she would resume crawling. She also seemed to have learned new words and seems to have created gestures for them. New things seem to excite her, as she had scrambled about her room, looking at the birds in the tree outside and watching them fly away.

So far, she displays a clear disliking of shoes, then again, she never really wore them, not to her recollections anyway (actually, in the photo Nui had shown me, she was barefooted). Socks she'd tolerate if need be but shoes she despised, yet seems not to mind sleeping in a bed, provided it was no higher than a toddler bed. She also doesn't seem to mind guests, often trying to greet them, however, she does keep her distance. Yet, for reasons, she couldn't identify or articulate, she felt safe with us.

Ever since she had come home, Aikurou often stopped by to try to see what she could remember and articulate. Because of what she seemed to remember, some things could be reclaimed, however, some bit her recovery was to determine what she had remembered and help her come to grips with her memories, offering her some degree of clarity

He asked her fairly basic and simply worded questions, questions that a two year old could very well understand (in all honesty, she didn't seem to have matured past three or four). She seemed to be answering honestly, giving equally simple answers, however said answers weren't too indicative of much.

"Do you know your sisters, Satsuki and Nui?"

She gave the response of clapping her hands, nonverbally expressing what she knew.

"I see. Are they nice to you?"

She clapped again, ecstatically. 

"Ah, lovely. My name is Aikurou, what's your name?"

"My's Ree-oo-koh."

"You don't like shoes?"

"Nuh shoos."

"Outside?"

"Nuh."

"Walk?"

"Huh?"

"Mmm. How old are you?"

"Not know."

After that particular assessment, Aikurou decided to hold up a picture of our mother, to which she responded with fear, saying, "Go 'away, no hurt, go 'way!" and raising her hands to her face, as if to block an oncoming blow. He then showed her a picture of our father to which she responded with, "He go 'way." She then went on to, as only she could articulate, describe him as kind and stating that she missed him. While her answers did help, they didn't give us much to conclude from, as we couldn't figure out exactly how old she was when our father died or when she was born.

Nevertheless, it didn't stop Aikurou from making his theories. He theorized that our father might not have known Ryuuko was his daughter, yet, he loved her nevertheless, or, rather, most likely, that our mother was pregnant and gave birth to her in secret, leaving our father to find out and concoct a plan to rescue her, yet he died before he could carry it out. Either way, she remembered him and how he wasn't abusive, thus proving she couldn't have been any more than three or four, making the reclaiming process easier to perform.

After assessing what she remembered, he wanted to see what else he knew or if she liked to converse. As only she could, she told us about how her day went and about how she saw the birds outside, gesturing as such. "Good day?" he asked her, to which she gave the response, "Yuh-huh!", clapping afterwards. After yet another conversation, he asked us, "Is she normally this talkative?" to which Nui replied, "Yes, she can be."

"Well, that's lovely. Anywho, has she walked on two legs?"

"No, not really. She'll stand on two legs but then she'd drop down to the floor and crawl."

"I see. Anything else of note?"

"Well, so far, she can say three sentences but only one pertained to her thoughts."

"Really, what were her thoughts?"

"She said something about wishing for something. Not to sure as to what she wished for."

"Hmm. What were her other sentences about?"

"I think she was verbalizing that she loved us, which is odd because she usually expresses that nonverbally."

"I see. How so?"

"Well, she usually plays with our hair or touches our and hands and face."

We went on to describe Ryuuko as very affectionate and the fact that she really likes to get into things. We weren't lying about that, as she did like to get into things and often did when our backs were turned. A key example of that was when she opened refrigerator and got something out, the which she played with it instead of eating (to elaborate further, we think it was a container of margarine or cottage cheese). While Aikurou found that amusing, he then asked if she tasted it, to which I responded, "Yes, she did and, by what it tastes like, she declared it inedible." I also pointed out that, some times, she doesn't listen.

He continued taking notes, stating, "From what it looks like, Ryuuko's personality is really starting to develop. She's a bright and rather curious soul who wants very much to explore the world around her, at the same time, she doesn't much like it if her explorations are interrupted." He wasn't lying, as that would be an accurate interpretation. Of course, she was never really allowed to explore or even be curious about her surroundings,


	9. Outside

Ryuuko mostly confined herself to the indoors, yet the outside made her curious. Of course, when Nui tried to take her outside, she became frightened and hurried back inside. That happened a little while ago but she still seemed to want to explore the outdoors, especially since the leaves are starting to fall. Things outside the windows oft attracted her curiousity, yet, either because she didn't know how to or because she was afraid, she didn't open windows.

Nui simply thought it'd be best to take it slow and started by opening a window in her room, saying, "This is a window, Ryuuko, and windows are for looking outside." Ryuuko gave her an awkward look, while incorporating what she said to memory. Of course, once she did that, poked her head out, letting the wind blow through her hair. She seemed to have liked the feeling, as it prompted her to stick her head out of the window before bed.

It was a small step, admittedly, but it was a step to keep her from being afraid. The next step was to open the door to the backyard. She spent roughly the entire morning letting the wind blow through her hair and peering out of that door. Naturally, after doing that and watching the leaves dance around, she opted to crawl outside and stand, allowing the bare soles of her feet to touch the ground. She stood for a total of twenty minutes before dropping to knees and picking up a fallen leaf.

The object piqued her curiousity even more. She lightly fingered it before showing it to me. I promptly told her it was a leaf and, right then and there, something clicked. She studied the object intently before repeating the word "leaf". It started with enunciation and then followed with an accurate pronunciation of the word. She learned to connect the new object with the word she had just heard.

"Leaf!" she said, her eyes like gems. A new world beyond what she knew was opened and she was eager to be apart of it. She wanted to learn about all the things she was seeing outside. The leaf wouldn't be the only thing that fascinated her, as the grass also fascinated her and, as with most things, she touched it and resolved to taste it, swatting at me when I tried to stop her. Of course, she quick to declare it inedible and spit it out, saying, "Ee-uh." She padded towards a tree and stood up, reaching a hand out to touch its trunk. The feel of the texture fascinated her, as did the tree itself. I explained it was a cherry tree and that, in the spring, it will have blossoms. She turned to me and asked, "Cherry?"

"Yes, Ryuuko, cherry. It's a cherry tree."

"Oh."

She then hurried over to the fence and shook it. "That's a fence, Ryuuko. It's to keep you safe." Clearly, she didn't know the words "safe" and "safety" were two different things, as she asked, "Safety?" Nevertheless, she did seem to grasp its purpose and in doing so, she didn't attempt to scale it and just sat and shook it, apparently, wanting to hear the sound it made. For a moment, it seemed to she remembered something about the fence. What she remembered I don't know but, if she did remember anything, then she would might find that rather difficult to articulate.

The next day, Nui suggested that we'd take Ryuuko into town. I pointed out that doing that might cause overstimulation and make her frightened, citing when she was first taken out of the cellar. It gave Nui some pause before she asked, "Why don't we invite some of your friends over?"


	10. Ryuuko's Forgiveness

As said before, Ryuuko doesn't mind visitors and would try to greet them. Of course, we often didn't have visitors and neither do I have many friends. With mother then around, I hardly ever invited friends over and, even if I did, they would decline for justifiable reasons or, if they came over, they wouldn't stay longer than an hour or less. That was years ago and, now, we could invite anyone over, so, at Nui's suggestion, I invited five of my friends over. When they arrived, they noticed Ryuuko, who didn't seem to notice them at first.

"Who's she?" Nonon asked, to which Ryuuko made a sound of mild annoyance before saying, "You!" Nonon was confused to which I said, "She wants to know your name." She introduced herself thusly, receiving the response of, "Ree-you-koh." At first, Nonon didn't hear and asked again, receiving the response of, "Ree-you-koh! Ree-you-koh! _Ryuuko_! My name Ryuuko, Nono." That surprised us, as, for the first time, she actually said her name without enunciating each syllable and, two, she said something where she actually used a word to pertain to herself. 

Of course, while that was all well and fine, she didn't seem to like Nonon very much and opted to pretend that she wasn't there. With a hand on Ryuuko's shoulder, Nui introduced her, "Oh, she's Ryuuko, of course, our sister." Uzu raised an eyebrow, asking, "Your sister?"

"Yes."

"How come we haven't met her before?"

"Oh, because of our mother."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, we don't like to talk about that but she's fine now."

Gamagoori understood and said, "Some things are best left unsaid and, if she's healthy and happy now, then that is all that matters." Naturally, we agreed, however, Houka wanted to study her but said wanting to study her died as quickly as it came when she tried to identify what his laptop was and bit it, scratching its screen. When he complained, she looked at him, confused, leaving me to explain that she does that for objects she hasn't a clue about.

"Why?"

"Houka, she never had the chance to learn otherwise. She doesn't know what your computer is and bit it because she judges objects that way, which is to say, by putting it in her mouth and declaring it edible or not. I take it she needs no further explanation, as she seems to have judged it inedible."

She did judge it inedible, yet was curious as to what it does. The images on the screen made her think of the television, in which case she spent a bit eyeballing the screen, before blinking and scurrying over to Gamagoori. Looking him made her want to compare heights and prompted her to stand on two legs, before dropping back on all fours. He commented that what she did was interesting to which Nui responded, "She thinks you are rather tall and wanted to compare heights. Not the first time, as she compared my foot to her foot and the length the of Satsuki's hair and her hair."

Her interaction with Uzu was odd but she seemed to have been indifferent until he addressed her directly. She eyeballed him for a spell but, when he made a move to place his hand on her head, she recoiled and swatted, saying an indignant, "No!" I took it that she wasn't anticipating that and, what she doesn't anticipate, she doesn't like and neither was she going to take being petted without permission. This confused Uzu to which he asked, "What the hell was that for?" to which Nui gave a response of, "Oh, she didn't like that."

"Being touched?"

"No, dummy, she doesn't like what she doesn't anticipate and neither does she know you, so she probably figured you were going to hurt her."'

"Is she shy?"

"She can be, however, she tends to get to know people better on her terms and her terms alone."

  
She then padded towards Shiro. I detected a hint of familiarity in their eyes and Shiro seemed shocked to see her. If my memories are correct, even though we didn't have many visitors, Shiro was a frequent one from time to time but I don't recall him saying anything about seeing her. She then tilted her head and said, "Shiro?"

Her saying Shiro's name was accompanied by a long and powerful silence, the silence being punctuated more when she reached out to touch his hair, specifically, that streak of grey, which caught her attention as it did ours. I became lost in my memories as I thought about the last time Shiro visited. He just wasn't the same and, later on, he was placed on medication based on how little he could function. While Ryuuko didn't talk, I figured she sensed something about him, wanting much to comfort him.

That silence was broken when Uzu asked him, "Do you remember her?" to which he affirmed, shaking, "Yes, I do." He refused to say more but he did state that he was terrified that the Mistress would come after him, too. Why he was afraid she would come after him was obvious, as he found out about the Kiryuuin's dirty little secret and he was in the cellar when it happened. I suppose he had some regret about not helping her but, then again, what could he do? He was a child then, just as she was, and no one would probably believe him if he told.

Either way, Ryuuko seemed much happy to see him, as, while she still held onto that grey streak, she sat by him and rested her head on his shoulder. "She's affectionate, " Nui said, "and that is one of her gestures as such." Naturally, Shiro seemed to reciprocate, allowing himself to accept what could be equated as her forgiveness. Perhaps she knew he couldn't do anything and felt his upset or, perhaps, she knew how much that woman destroyed lives, hers and his included.


	11. An Outing

Much has happened since we had visitors over and she has gotten better with her syntaxes and speech, communicating in more than utterances and she seems to have become more socialized. However, she still can't seem to walk on two legs but does seem not to mind being pushed around in a wheelchair, actually, she had gotten used to it, even sleeping in it, from time to time. Noting all all of these, Aikurou and Nui suggested we'd take her somewhere public.

I was hesitant, as it seemed like a large step that Ryuuko wasn't ready for but they insisted, Aikurou saying, "It could do her some good." and Nui saying, "And she'd have to go to a public place anyway." I suppose I couldn't argue it but I did state my apprehension. Of course, Nui did state that perhaps we should take it slow, starting with a ride in the car. Would she be afraid? I wondered, considering Ryuuko hasn't gotten into a vehicle since she was taken from home, to the institution, and then back home again.

"We could go in the car," Aikurou said, "and, while it is a small step, it is a start, after all, she has to get used to riding in the car, anyhow." I did point out that it could frighten her but I relented nevertheless. However, I suppose I should have mentioned that Ryuuko can be stubborn, as she has been often quick to protest. Of course, she could use some time out of the house and she does seem to be curious about the world outside the walls.

I went upstairs to get her ready and I could tell she would not like what it was we were going to be doing. She wasn't doing much of anything besides laying on her abdomen and fiddling around with her fingers. However, being someone who doesn't like what she doesn't anticipate, she was mildly annoyed that I interrupted whatever it was that she was doing. She gave the response of, "No!" I tried to lessen her bad mood by saying, "We're going to do something fun today." This began something of an argument.

"No!"

"Now, Ryuuko, you won't know if you don't like it if you've never tried it."

"Mmm-mmm."

"You have to give it a chance."

"Don't want to."

"It'll be fun, you'll see?"

"No."

"Could you just give it a chance, please?!"

"NO!"

"Alright then, you're going to try it whether you like the very concept or not and that is that!"

"Hell no!"

Before I had a chance to register it, I recieved a smack to the side of my head, leaving me momentarily dazed. Silently, through her gaze, she told me that she wasn't going to do this without fighting. I was right in this assumption as I had to put up with her bites and hair-pulling just to put her socks on and had to practically wrestle her to get her down the stairs. Once we were down the stairs, she bit my wrist.

"Well, does this happen often?" Aikurou asked, eyeing my abused wrist to which I said, "No, however, she doesn't tend to like what she doesn't anticipate." What I said intrigued Aikurou, leaving him to ask, "What she doesn't anticipate?" and then he went on to say how that is strange but did note that, if I had to fight to put her socks on and get her down the stairs, then she was definitely going to fight if we got her in the car.

He wasn't lying. Despite coaxing, Ryuuko still didn't seem to be pretty keen on getting in the car. Of course, being larger than she was, he was able to lift her off the ground, to which she quieted. She wasn't anticipating that, no, but, she didn't react negatively to it. She looked him, then down at her feet, and then back to him again, before withdrawing her limbs like a baby would if startled. However, she wasn't startled but that seemed to be her reaction. "I think she likes that. " Nui said, "Being picked up, that is." Neither of us knew what to think but there was nothing else to explain her reaction. When he set her back down, she was quieter and became cooperative, thus we got her in the car without a fight.

While we did get her into the car sans a fight, she became frightened by the car moving, saying, "No! No! No! Stop!" We endured this for roughly fifteen minutes before she quieted, entranced by the world moving outside the window. It was a world that she was barred from, missing it entirely. "Does freedom feel nice, Ryuuko?" Nui asked her. She gave her response in the form of a pat to Nui's head, while saying, "Nice." She wasn't really articulate with her thoughts although a terse response had sufficed. She was very much enjoying what she's missed all this time.

However, her enjoyment was bittersweet, as she asked, "Why?" She wasn't asking why she was enjoying this world in which she missed, instead, asking why she was treated the way she was before. She had missed so much but still knew enough to understand how she was treated in comparison to the rest of us. She clearly yearned for things to have been different but fate was far too cruel to allow it.

Still, we haven't forgot what she said. Silently, I wondered how that would be if she had born in a normal and loving family.  



	12. Making Amends

**Music Playing:** _"[Yoisura](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5g5nNQiOKw)"  _ by Ikue Asazaki

* * *

 It had been roughly two and a half years since I last spoke to the Mistress and Ryuuko has made many improvements. However, I would have to come terms with her abuse, the past, and the devastation left behind. That time came at what I would consider to be bittersweet and it would leave me asking questions for the rest of my life. Questions the answers to which would never come, however, I knew I would be left with some closure.

We caught wind of solemn news when Aikurou came one day. He told us that our mother wanted very much to see us. At first, we didn't know why but it would sink in soon enough. Instead of going to the asylum where she resided, we went to the hospital. For once, she didn't look or feel like the terrifying woman who gave birth to, raised, and abused us, instead, she looked like something fragile.

She was connected  to medicines, machines, and IVs and her white hair was very thin. It took no words for us to realize the obvious. She was very sick and her time was borrowed from the machines, medicines, and IVs she was connected to. She wanted very much to make amends with us before her time was up and her time was running out. It was a shame really as she's had so much time and potential to be different, to be kind instead of cruel, and to give us a loving mother and normal life but it was gone, wasted, leaving behind an empty wish.

She opened her weak eyes and reached out her hand. Not knowing what else to do, we clasped it in ours. As she glanced off to the window, she smiled, asking, "You know I haven't much time, do you?" Tears poured from her eyes as she let out a bitter sob. While her cry was bitter, it had a twinge of acceptance. She accepted what was coming and she accepted the damage she's done, perhaps enabling her to die in peace.

She stopped crying and look at us, saying, "I'm so sorry, really I am. I know I have haven't been a very good mother, actually, I don't think I should even call myself that, after all, I can never make up for what I've done and, if I could do it all again, I would change everything. Neither time nor fate is on my side and, however, before I go, I want very much to tell you how much I repent for what I've done and to tell you, despite it all, I love you. Pity that I've waited too long to truly show it when I really should have done it back then."

Even though she didn't articulate it, Ryuuko seemed to have forgiven our mother despite the treatment she had given her. Despite it all, at the end of the day, she was still our mother and her youngest child, the one she's treated so cruelly and didn't even name, seemed to have understood that. Perhaps, she still yearned for her love in much the way that Nui or I really didn't seem to.

A few hours later, she slipped into a coma but, just as she was slipping, she turned to Ryuuko, saying, "Oh. ' _Ryuuko_ ', that's a pretty name." As we were leaving, Ryuuko hurried back to plant a kiss on her forehead, saying, "Bye, Mam." Not a few days afterwards, her illness had claimed her. We buried her alongside Rei and her funeral was a quiet but long one, one that would leave us musing.

As said before, she had so much time and potential, thus it was a pity that she didn't turn out different. I would never understand why she acted the way she did before she died but what I do know is that she wanted to accept what she's done, the damage she's caused, and to die knowing she at least got make amends with the daughters she's given birth to and wronged so much. She had died a victim of her own madness and, in her final moments, acknowledged how much she's loved us, her regrets, and redeemed herself. I would find myself weeping, crying about how much we've lost and what could have been.

In that moment, as I cried, I found I had forgiven her for all she's done, breaking that long psychological hold. I prayed that she would rest in peace.


	13. "Meela"

Animals weren't something Ryuuko had much a chance to interact with, as they often frightened her, so she never did get much a chance to interact with them without bouncing back and running to hide. However, something about something furry and friendly would attract her curiousity. This furry something would come in the form of a black and white kitten that someone had given Nui out of a token of good will.

The kitten, being as curious as kittens often are, padded around, which prompted Ryuuko to hide for a little bit before curiousity took over. "Kittens are for petting, Ryuu." Nui explained, the explanation prompting a curious but confused expressing with the question of, "Petting?" Prior to setting her free, neither Nui nor I had a pet and Ryuuko's past recollections don't have animals in them but she did know what petting was and petting was a show of affection. While she knew that tidbit, she didn't know what pets were and not knowing piqued her curiosuity, leading her to ask, "What is kitten?"

"You mean 'What is a kitten?' Well, a kitten is a baby cat.

"Huh, what's cat?"

"A cat is a bigger version of a kitten."

"Eat?"

"No, there are some things you don't eat and cats are one of those things you don't eat."

"Okay."

"See? Kittens are for petting, not eating."

"Meela."

"Oh, you want to name her-?"

"Meela."

  
"Meela" seemed to be her name for Nui's pet, although we weren't sure as to what the name meant to her, however, a name to Ryuuko was what other people are called and she had quietly acknowledged the fact that she was given a name, so, to her, a name for the kitten was thus. We didn't know where she had heard the name "Meela", then again, she probably heard a similar name and heard it as she articulated it.

She was happy and quite fascinated with this little kitten, even opted to follow her around, reaching out to pet her every few moments. Meela was just as curious about her and reciprocated the action as only a kitten could. Ryuuko was taken aback by the action but responded by petting her again. It was odd, yet humorous, as we never seen her react remotely friendly, curious, or playful with an animal, however, she was doing just that, with something that didn't frighten her.

It's nice that she found something that didn't frighten her.

 


	14. Social Services

Unfortunately, I found myself facing something I hoped I would never have to face and that was social services. Being that I am only but roughly twenty years old, something about my custody and care of my younger sisters called their attention, thus they questioned as to whether or not I can considered a fit guardian. As far as I knew, they would allow Nui to remain in my custody but Ryuuko was another story, as her existence as the third Kiryuuin daughter has mostly gone ignored and our mother, the one who abused, neglected, and locked our sister away, had died not very long ago, so they decided to scapegoat someone else.

I remember when Nui ran to me, sobbing hysterically, as Ryuuko looked on in confusion, trying to piece together what she was witnessing. I was just as confused, however, and asked what had her so upset, to which she said, "Social services called!" I was shocked and asked why they had called but the answer I got boiled down to, "They want to take Ryuuko away!" I couldn't sort out why they would want to investigate, as Ryuuko wasn't being abused and neither was she being neglected. Of course, we didn't know what to do besides contacting Aikurou for help.

Aikurou came the next day, Saturday, at 12:00 post meridian. I explained to him as to what had happened and the potential end result, to which he said, "I knew this sort of thing had a chance at happening and, frankly, you're going to need some legal help in order to keep Ryuuko, as CPS aren't going to care as to whether or not you work, go to school, and that Ryuuko wouldn't want to leave. Anywho, is there any reason as to why this wouldn't be considered a fit home for her?"

"No, not really, I mean I don't oft leave them in the house by themselves for long periods of time, as the kind woman next door offers to look after her while we're away and during the day while I'm at work and Nui's at school, and Ryuuko's needs and, sometimes, wants are often met."

"Hmm, is this about Ryuuko peeing on the floor?"

"No, I don't think so, Nui just said they called is all."

"I see. Frankly, I don't see much a reason as to why they would even think of investigating, unless someone was feeling belligerent and decided to make allegations, thus warranting their attention."

"Who would make allegations?"

"We don't know."

Nui then stepped into room to tell us that, a couple of doors down from where we lived, lived a woman to whom was upset that Ryuuko got into her plants. I raised an eyebrow and asked, "How did Ryuuko get into her plants?" to which she responded that she took her outside was all so she could meet the neighbors, after she had greeted the woman next door by the fence. "When we went by this woman's house, Ryuuko saw the flowers and got out of her wheelchair to see touch them." Nui explained.

After hearing all she said, Aikurou rolled his eyes and said, "Mmm-hmm, sounds like someone is being belligerent over a minor incident. However, unfortunately, because no one knew of Ryuuko's existence up until roughly two and a half years ago and the fact that both of your parents deceased, so, throughout all of this, you are still going to need some legal help and pray that you don't lose custody of Ryuuko. Frankly, I think you are a fit guardian, as she thrives under your care and her needs, like Nui's, are very much met but, as I've said social services may not see it that way."

As we conversed, I didn't notice Ryuuko standing behind my chair. I don't know how long she was standing there, as she was very quiet but I do know that she snagged my hair into her hand and pulled it, the act itself catching my attention. Typically, she doesn't pull our hair, instead, grabbing and petting it, so, for her to pull it told me that she very much needed my attention. I looked at her and asked if she was alright to which she said, "Stay! Ryuuko stay wih shister."

Somehow or another, she seemed to grasp what was going on and was pretty insistent on not being taken away. After making her demand, she continued to say, "Stay!" and was in tears at that point. She was pretty dead set on staying home with us and not being taken away, acting in a way that is thus. Nui turned to Aikurou and asked, "Is there anything we can do?" She was pleading much like Ryuuko was and we all didn't want her to be taken away

He sighed and responded, "Like I said, you're going to need some legal help, as this case is complicated. Your parents are gone and no one knew Ryuuko even existed until about two and a half years ago, along with Satsuki being your primary guardian. Frankly, like I said, I don't see any reason as to why she would be taken away." Gathering Ryuuko in his arms, he then goes on to state that he has a lawyer friend that specializes in social services and family law by the name of Tsumugu Kinagase.

He contacted Tsumugu, who came later that day, and asked what he thought to which he said, "Hmm, this is complicated but, like that dingus over there said, there isn't any cause for her to be taken away and for the claim not to be dismissed but, first I'm gonna need some info on her. Anything you might have that could provide some info?" We gave that some thought and, besides Ryuuko fussing around with a jar of pennies, there was a long silence before Nui said, "Well, we don't have much but we d have a photograph of her."

"Okay, anything else, like documents or records?"

"So far, none that we know of besides the ones from two and a half years ago."

"Alright, well, that brings to give you a piece of info you may not find pleasant."

"What is it Mr. Kinagase?"

"Legally, by a technicality, Ryuuko, your sister, doesn't exist, as there are no records of her birth and neither does she seem to have a birth certificate, so that doesn't give either social services or your sister much a leg to stand on."

"....Oh."

"That isn't all, for one, let me give you two pieces of info, 1), your mother cannot be tried or charged with her abuse of Ryuuko, as she's passed on, thus, it seems they want to scapegoat and, 2), because of the former and the fact that she has no legal documents identifying her as a part of your family, social services are more inclined to take her away. Honestly, in my opinion, it would be in Ryuuko's best interests to stay here with her sisters, as she isn't being abused and she seems to be pretty healthy."

Nui and Tsumugu talked for awhile before Ryuuko crept behind him and swatted him in the arm. Clearly, she wasn't in a happy mood and was taking whatever she felt out on everyone else. I expected no less as she isn't very good at expressing her upset verbally but she does express it by swatting and screaming. Tsumugu was uninjured but he was surprised and asked, "Does she do this often?"

"No, it's just that she is very upset."

"I see. Do you mind elaborating?"

"Because she isn't quite well-versed in verbal communication, she's prone to hitting."

"Does this have anything to do with social services?"

"Yes, it does and, while she doesn't know too much about what's going on, she is just as upset as we are, actually, she might be even more upset because we are all she knows."

He then asked to speak with Aikurou and I alone, prompting me to dismiss Nui and Ryuuko to upstairs. When he was sure that neither of them could hear, he said, "I wish I didn't have to tell you this but there is also a degree of classism involved in this." We were confused and Aikurou asked for him to a bit further, to which he responded, "As you know, because of her living conditions and suffering abuse and neglect at your mother's hands, she is a profoundly impaired child and, as such, they don't think you'll be able to properly care for her, however, by them having access to facilities and foster homes, they think those should be able to properly care for her."

"Any sort of way we can stop this?"

"Well, as I said to Nui, legally, because she doesn't have any known records of existence save the ones from recently, she doesn't even exist, as she isn't registered into the system. Of course, about as far as all other things go, your parents are deceased and your mother was never charged and tried for the abuse, so there is a degree of scapegoating. If they investigate and opt to take Ryuuko away, then you're going to have to take them to court and fight for custody."

"I see."

After over four hours of discussion, Aikurou and Tsumugu bid us goodnight and went home, telling us to call them to tell about the investigation went.

That night, as I tossed and turned, I awoke to Ryuuko stroking my hair, before she rested her head on mine, saying, "Don't want to go. Want to stay." I held onto her for awhile and she in turn, except I would describe her as a baby with its mother. She felt safe with us and had very much a reason to be, as she's been abused, neglected, and locked away in a cage in dark cellar, being kept away from life itself, with hardly anyone to protect her from it. Fear wasn't much a feeling I had but I feared the thought of social services taking her away, as there is a chance that they could place her in a far worse situation.

"I won't let them take you, Ryuuko, I promise." I said, holding onto her tighter.  

The next day, someone from social services arrived. Nui was already off to school and Ryuuko was barely awake and the woman next door, Mrs. Mankanshoku, had yet to arrive and Tsumugu was already seated. I fought my hardest to keep myself together. A flurry of thoughts were running through my head and all of them were about whether or not they'll take her away and how much hell I would have to raise to get her back.

While Ryuuko was upstairs, I swore that I would commit murder and cover it up just to make sure that no one would take either of them away, Ryuuko especially. Being that she didn't ask permission or give me time to react as she entered my house without a warrant, I felt like killing her right then and there and probably would have if Tsumugu wasn't there and if I didn't have my sisters to think of.

"We heard that a child had been abused here," she began, before rattling off how, and then asking me about how old I was and if it was alright to speak to Ryuuko. Tsumugu was quick to point out to the social worker that she has neither right nor warrant to interrogate her and that Ryuuko doesn't know her, thus she wouldn't speak to her, yet that ugly woman was persistent and I relented. I was warned that noncompliance could get her taken away, thus leaving me with little choice.

By this point, Ryuuko was fully awake and wasn't very keen on talking to visitors. I could get her down the stairs but not past the living-room. She climbed onto the couch and settled firmly into her favorite spot, as if to say, "I am staying right here!" I didn't need to read any more cues, as her mind was set. I walked back into the kitchen and explained that she is rather shy and doesn't oft like to talk to those she doesn't know (or, as in this case, like). Either way, this woman remained persistent and demanded to talk with her, storming into the living-room.

I wanted to very much to tear this woman in two as she had long pushed a boundary. My baby sister was terrified of this woman and said woman, who is employed to help children, was acting the very opposite. She was determined to have Ryuuko removed and it seemed she would stop at nothing to have that done. As I fought my urge to fight this woman, she continued to ask her the same question, until ultimately Ryuuko, a sobbing and shaking wreck, made a defensive move.

She scratched her, leaving behind red marks in the woman's face. She sobbed loudly, while the social worker was taken aback by such an action.

Before I had yet even the chance to crush her windpipe, Tsumugu, having had very well enough, stepped and tore her a new one, saying, "First of all, this young woman, Ms. Satsuki Kiryuun has been nothing but compliant, even when you forced your way into her home and decided to interrogate a child, neither of which you had a warrant to do. You came here to investigate a tip about potential abuse, yet it is you committing the abuse with your bullying and intimidation, all and out, abusing your position. Look at her, Ryuuko is shaking and crying because is afraid but she isn't afraid of her sister be noted, she is afraid of you. Now, unless you want very much to lose your job, you would be wise enough to leave."

Quietly, she left and the case was closed soon after. As for that whole experience, I retained custody of Ryuuko and she healed nicely.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As one already knows, I am terrible at math, thus I had gotten Satsuki's age wrong, in that she would be twenty years old at this point and Ch. 12, and 21-years old by a different point in the story, since this chapter was two and a half years after Ryuuko's discovery.
> 
> Sorry about that
> 
> ~~Amoridere


	15. Dr. Kiki

Ryuuko never liked hospitals much, especially since her first encounter but Aikurou did say, should we want her to stay healthy, we should monitor her health this way. He goes onto mention that Tsumugu's sister, Kinue (otherwise known as "Kiki"), is a children's pediatrician and that she'd be more than willing to handle Ryuuko's checkups. It wasn't something I could refuse, especially since he mentioned that she is very gentle and her patients' parents do trust her greatly.

Fortunately, she was convenient enough to make a house-call, as Ryuuko is terrified of hospitals. Introductions between the two seemed to go well, as while she was hesitant, she approached Kiki with curiosity. Blue eyes met brown ones and a mutual connection came out of it. "Hello, Ryuuko, my name is Kinue and I will be your doctor." she said, leaving my little sister intrigued.

She went about her exam with ease, taking notes here and there and as Ryuuko fidgeted around with some of her tools. She asked her relatively simple questions, the which being "Does this hurt?" or "Does that hurt?" to which she was denied that it didn't. Once she was finished, she sat us down and went about her findings.

"Going by what I looked at with her legs I would say some of issues there are congenital, however, the rest are acquired. Other than that and despite being growth and developmentally stunted, she has a clean bill of health." she said with a smile, while Ryuuko fidgeted with my hair.

She bid us good afternoon and said that she'll see us again next year.


	16. Memories and Mysteries

Ryuuko's age is a mystery, like almost all other things about her. Of course, the question about how old she was remained, like all other questions, unanswered. No one could say how old she was and the ones who knew had died and taken the answer with them to their graves. Her appearance and her recollections don't leave much to conclude from, as she could only state what she remembered, which wasn't much, and the severe abuse and neglect she suffered stunted her growth and physical development.

What we did know was that she was in her formative years when she was locked away and, while she has about average intelligence, her comprehension and mindset is more on the level of a toddler's. If asked about how old she is, she would simply state that she doesn't know.

Likewise, we don't even know when her birthday is and Nui and I have differing opinions as to when it was. Nui thinks she was born during the spring or summer, whereas I think she was born in the fall. Either way, we haven't a clue as to when her birthday is and, likewise, we hadn't interacted with our mother enough to notice if she was pregnant or not, as she was oft distant and we feared her more than we could have ever loved her, so interaction with her wasn't typical for us. Ryuuko got her attention and said attention wasn't the sort of attention she should have recieved.

In us wanting to know her age, we were brought back to the photo, the one Nui found in the attic. While the photo has a date, the date didn't have a year and neither could we determine if that was her pre-isolation or during, forestalling calculation. That mystery brought us back to the attic, the tomb where secrets were buried and forgotten, hidden once more and waiting to be rediscovered.

While Ryuuko napped, we went to the attic and started probing boxes. We unearthed photos of our father, which returned bitter memories. Our memories of our father prior to his leaving are like a dream, which is to say, we don't remember him well, just the fact that he left and didn't come back, however, we never knew why he left. Ryuuko remembered bits and pieces and the fact that he wasn't cruel to her. However, what we didn't expect to find was a wedding picture.

It was hard to believe the two, our father and the Mistress, were ever so happy together. Clearly, they must have loved each other once and our mother must have been very kind but the mystery that remained as to what could have turned her from the kind person she once was into the cruel person she would become. The photos didn't reveal that but it did show us a side of our mother we had never seen before.

In finding those photos, we found a photo of a then-infant Ryuuko. She was wrapped in a towel and seemed to have been freshly born, meaning she couldn't have been born in a hospital. We didn't know who took the photo but we assumed Rei must have taken it, considering that she knew about Ryuuko's existence long before we did, which supported that Ryuuko was born in secret, however, that raises a question as to why she wasn't taken to a hospital afterward to see if she was alright or not.

"I wonder, did Ryuuko remind the Mistress of something she wanted to forget?" Nui asked, pondering the photo. I found the thought odd, yet that lead to another unanswered question, as I couldn't think of any real reason why the Mistress would have anything she yearned to forget. As I mulled over the question, something had struck me. What evidence we did find of our baby sister seemed to have pointed towards the Mistress being pregnant with and giving birth to her in not so happy times and, whatever those times were, the Mistress felt constantly reminded, taking her rage out on a baby who had that misfortune of being born.

While I was lost in thought, Nui pointed out that the photo had a month and a date on the back and the date was September 5th. "Oh, she's a clover." she voiced, citing that the date was the official day where summer ended but where autumn hadn't officially began. Interestingly, that day, if either us could recall, was the day was the day Rei committed suicide, over a year ago.

The memory of her suicide was a bitter one and reading her diary after her funeral fueled that fact. Ryuuko's birthday being the day of her death felt like death and rebirth, as she died on a day someone was born. Something in my heart stung, as I realized that she had tied the date of Ryuuko's birth to her regrets. The photo had to have been taken by her, as she had to have been the only one there as our mother gave birth. The true events on that day, when Ryuuko was born, was something that both of them to took their graves. I could only wonder if she had other intentions besides what she's stated in her diary, however, she did make it clear that she had been unhappy for a very long time. Frankly, I started to wish I could have talk her out of it, telling her that there was another way, but she took the easy way out.

I was shocked out of my thoughts when Nui told me she had found something. What she had found was another photo and it was another photo of Ryuuko. She couldn't have been any more than about a year old, going by the length of her hair, and she was looking out of a window. It didn't take us long to realize that she wasn't always kept in a cage or, rather, the cellar, as that was the attic window. I tried my hardest to muster up a distant memory about the attic and what transpired, however, I couldn't draw up any besides once finding a little blanket. Of course, we didn't know exactly who took the photo but we ruled out the Mistress pretty quickly. "She kept Ryuuko in a cage, locked her away keeping her hidden, and didn't give her a name, so it had to have been Rei." Nui explained, citing the fact that Rei had to have taken the other two.

As we both then recalled, Rei was often beaten, much like Ryuuko was, however, unlike Ryuuko, she was allowed to move around, however, Nui hazily recalled how Rei was smacked around with something metal but she didn't recall why, except that it was exceptionally brutal. "It was real, real brutal," she said, shuddering.

* * *

 Way brutal than what I had ever seen before. Usually, Rei got hit with a belt, a shoe, or a rope but, naw, she was hit with something metal. I don't recall what it was she was hit with but I know it was something metal. Rei it seemed was begging, praying, and wishing for mercy, yet she took that beating for what I didn't recall why and it seemed like she was getting hit for no reason, until the Mistress said, " ** _THAT_** was supposed to stay hidden and I'll make you pay for ever defying me." 

* * *

 ".....I still don't know what she meant by that but I do know she beat the pee out of Rei and I mean that literally." she said, throwing her arms around herself. What she had seen had terrified her to her core and she was in tears. That image of Rei taking such a savage beating wasn't a good one and, most certainly, it wasn't one that I'd forget. She had taken more of a punishment than either of us did and, odds are, Ryuuko doesn't remember much. Those photos were before she formed permanent memories and, for showing a bit of kindness, she played the martyr.

We were brought out of the attic when we heard Ryuuko calling for us. In my hand, I held those photos, the very few of Ryuuko past we had.


	17. Chasing Dandelion Seeds

I framed those photos and placed them alongside the photos of Nui and I. Not too long after we had dug around the attic, I pulled up a chair by the window and found myself sitting there in what spare time. I never knew why I was sitting there, just the fact that I was and, as I should note, I was melancholic. What memories I had of my parents were bitter ones and they often eluded me.

In regards of what happened to Ryuuko and Rei, I felt guilt. I blamed myself as to why either of those things happened to them but more for Ryuuko. Older sister are supposed to act as second mothers and protect their younger sisters and, for the Mistress to have abused her like that and kept her locked away, I felt as though I didn't do an adequate job of protecting her. It would be insane to have wished to have traded places with her, so she could have had what would constitute a normal life. 

Of course, I find it odd that one wouldn't wish they could trade their lives, no matter how normal, for someone who was made to live in the dark, in a cage, hidden from the world, and subjected to merciless abuse and neglect. If trading places meant saving her from the abuse and neglect she suffered, then I would have gladly traded places.

In the note of Rei, I wished I could have prevented her suicide. I oft wondered if I had missed any signs that pointed to that being her end. I recall her being depressed and anxious but she never mentioned anything about wanting to go out the way she did. If I had noticed, then I could reassured her and talked her out of it. Thinking back to when she died, I wondered if she changed her mind and wanted to turn back but the ambulance came too late. I remembered how her diary said she used to watch the sunset and how it gave her some comfort, yet she never knew why.

The image of her watching the sunset is wistful and melancholic one and I remembered how much she suffered, especially since she took a beating just for extending a kind hand. Quietly, I felt her there, watching over my shoulder, and, frankly, I wanted her back.

In thinking about Rei, Ryuuko, and my memories, I was brought back to my memories as a child. The memory that came up was how I was five years old and chasing dandelion seeds that were blowing in the wind. I was trying to catch them, yet I don't know why. I suppose my memories were like the dandelion seeds I was trying to catch and how desperately I fought to reclaim them.

That memory with the dandelion seeds was also a memory with my father in it. I just remember that he was smiling right alongside me as I chased those dandelion seeds. It was wistful to recall something I had thought I'd forgotten long ago. Said memory, while remembered, was fragmented in that, prior to finding those photographs in the attic, I didn't recall very much of what my father looked like, let alone what his voice sounded like.

I was brought out of my recollections and thoughts by Aikuro greeting me with an, "I know what you're thinking." I was intrigued as to how he could have known, then again, eyes are gateways to the soul or, rather, someone's thought processes. "You're remembering the past and some of the not so happy aspects." he said, pulling up a chair.

"I suppose."

"Does that explain why you've been melancholic as of late, for the last few days?"

"Yes, it does. I'm melancholic because of many things but I suppose what makes me melancholic is the fact that some things are lost."

"Lost?"

"Do you remember anything about my father and mother? I mostly remember that my father left and didn't come back and I just remember our mother's cruelty."

"Hmm, interesting question. Well, being that we're cousins, you'd think we would have kept in touch more often after he got married but we hadn't, however, he did tell me about Nui and you and our correspondence was spent about him talking about you two. As for your mother, I haven't quite met her, so I can't describe who she was before she became cruel but your father did say she was beautiful, though, I couldn't tell if he was talking about her looks or her personality."

"I see, so, my memories remain lost."

"How so?"

"I realized I don't have much recollection of my parents. Earlier, I was remembering when I was chasing dandelion seeds."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I was five years old and I was chasing dandelion seeds. My father was also in that memory and, as I remembered, I realized that, up until now, I realized I never quiet knew him or my mother."

"I suppose so. I take it you were quite young when your dad left and you've hardly interacted with your mother enough but, then again, her treatment of you, left you afraid of her. Anywho, how old were you when your Dad left?"

"I don't recall. He left and never came back and, prior to that, we hardly ever saw him."

"I see. Do you remember your mother before that?"

"Not quite, I just remember that she was distant and that, after our father left, she became this even more so."

"Hmm, I see."

"I wish I could have traded places with her."

"Huh?"

"Ryuuko. I wish I could have traded places with her."

"Mmm, I see. The past and your circumstances, as I can tell, has not been kind to you and, obviously, there is some psychological hold on you especially. If you let that hold keep its grip, you're going to be stuck chasing dandelion seeds for the rest of your life."

"....."

"Yes, as the older sister who wants very much to protect her younger sister, I can see why you'd with very much wish you had switched places with Ryuuko, as, in an obvious way, she got the worst end of the stick, then again, neither you or Nui were treated any better as your mother was not only distant, she was psychologically abusive and controlled your lives to such an extent that you were practically conditioned to accept her or her secretary's explanations. Along that line, your father's sudden absence has affected you all so profoundly that you can't recall too much else about him or how old you were or what year it was when he left. No, it's not wrong to know more about your parents and wish you could have saved Ryuuko from the abuse, at the same time, you have to think about now, not then, now, as she's happy, healthy, and clearly thriving now, receiving the kind of love and care your mother didn't give her. My point is that you can't do this to yourself."

As we talked, I had to take time to register that Ryuuko had climbed into my lap and threw her arms around my neck. Aikurou looked at her and said, "She's missed you." He then went on to state that I was in a self-imposed prison and that being in said self-imposed prison would cause me to lose sight of what is important and that what was important are my sisters, as they are all I really have.


	18. Ryuuko and Uzu

Uzu isn't known for calling prior to his visits, which has been the cause for some annoyance. Of course, now has to be a time where he would visit unannounced, however, Ryuuko made him curious, so he wanted to see her again. Apparently, she seems to be empathic as she picked up on my annoyance and responded similarly, saying, "Uh-uh." Frankly, I was busy, too busy play with her, and Nui was away at school and running errands, so I decided perhaps Uzu should entertain Ryuuko while I was tending to other matters.

"Very well, since you've insisted on visiting unannounced, then I will place you to work, Sanageyama, in which case, while I attend to financial and other matters, you can look after Ryuuko until I am finished." I said, noticing Ryuuko gesturing. Uzu was confused but he didn't argue, not even as my baby sister decided to swat him in the face and pull at his hair. I reminded her to behave.

* * *

Not too sure what Sats had in mind 'bout babysitting her little sister while she sorts out her taxes and stuff. This kid is feisty, not gonna lie, however, she seemed a little too feisty and even annoyed. Apparently, she think its funny to mess with my head, as she isn't talking besides making noises and making some weirdness with her hands. Sats never told me much about why she does that, then again, because, of something their mom did, she probably doesn't see people much.

She kept doing that weirdness with her hands and I had to tell her I don't understand what at all she is saying or doing. She grunted and smacked me square across the head before doing that weirdness with her hands again. I got smacked around something fierce before I called to Sats and asked her what was it Ryuuko was doing with her hands, to which, she responded, "She's gesturing. It's another way of how she communicates and is frustrated that you can't understand her."

She continued on gesturing before crouching into a ball. Not knowing what else to do, I reached over to pet her and, like before, I got smacked, only she didn't say "No!" she just made some kinda hiss. I thought she was upset and I tried to hug her to which I got bit in the arm for and did she leave a mark. She reached her hands up and started clawing my face.

I decided to leave her alone and watch some television to which she decided, "Uh-uh, not having that!" She started to gesture again to which I pointed out, "You bit me, slapped me, and scratched me, what more could ya' want?" She made a loud hiss grunt and smacked me again. If she was mad, then she was really good at showing it. After doing that, I grabbed one of her hands, which got her attention, as she stopped smacking me.

She needed some time to register that. It took roughly about ten minutes for her to register that I held her hand and, in that span of time, she seemed to have decided that she liked that. I should note her hand is very small, almost like a baby's practically. She eyed my hand for a time and it seemed she noticed how big it is in comparison to hers. I let her hand go, which made her whine a little. Okay, clearly, she liked her hand being held and, instead of being a feisty little hellion, she became a baby who was happy to have her hand held. I took it back into my hand and her whining stopped, instead, making soft cooing noises.

"So you like that, do you?" I asked her, to which she just eyed me some, before she said, "Eh." I supposed that meant yes, considering she didn't say no. She wasn't anticipating me holding her hand, however, she didn't seem to mind it much and was upset when I stopped holding her hand. She ran her fingers over the palm of my other hand, her eyes as big as my grandma's blue dinner-plates. It was kinda weird but I guess she was just fascinated with something.

She was doing that until she fell asleep and, even when she was asleep, she still held my hand. I didn't want to let it go because it wake her up and make her upset.

Maybe she was bein' so mean to me at first because she was just getting sleepy and was just being fussy but, when I grabbed her hand, she liked it and decided to calm down. 

* * *

I finished my errands and decided to check on the two. I found her asleep and Uzu watching the television while holding her hand. I was curious as to how it came to that, after all, I heard the indignant noises Ryuuko was making and figured the two weren't getting along. I asked and he responded, "Well, she was all mean to me earlier but then I grabbed her hand as she was slappin' me and she calmed down and started touching my other hand." I was intrigued, naturally, as Ryuuko isn't usually so friendly with those she doesn't know or is annoyed with, however, somehow, Uzu managed to calm her.

"Hmm, hands catch Ryuuko's attention because, when we first interacted with her, she reached out to touch Nui's hand and had recognized us as not wanting to harm her, so, in which case, you holding her hand meant to her that you weren't going to hurt her. She had internalized that thought process." I said. Even though he didn't show it too much, I suppose the realization sent a piece of glass into his heart.

She awoke just before Nui came home and she took her hand out of his. He lift, bidding her goodnight, and she in turn, however, she didn't seem to remember his name.


	19. "Mam"

"Mam" was something Ryuuko called our mother on her deathbed and it was name some might call their mothers. Of course, our mother was dead and the child she abused so horribly didn't seem to notice her absence. To our little sister, it didn't seem off that someone was absent in our family, as we had been all she had known. However, that being said, I found it odd to find her calling, "Mam? Where Mam?"

Like Nui, Aikurou also found that strange and states, "Well, certainly, she can't be calling for your mother, as she is who Ryuuko's learned to fear the most." He did point it out that he hasn't seen her say the word before except for when she was leaving our dying mother in the hospital, however, he brought up the possibility that she was using "Mam" to refer to someone else.

At first, we didn't know who and Nui suggested our sister created an imaginary mother for herself, to which Aikurou pointed out that it could be a possibility, after all, she did seem to have incorporated imaginary play with her hands and her toys. "Perhaps, she was playing." he suggested, gesturing to Ryuuko playing with her stuffed animals in the other room. 

She was playing with her toys for a little while before she stopped and called out, "Mam?" We were intrigued and curious, Nui saying, "Maybe she's seen a ghost." I rebuffed that notion, citing that our mother would have been one terrifying specter and that Rei would have been equally frightening to Ryuuko as the Mistress would have been. A moment of silence passed before she let out another but rather insistent, "Mam!" Aikurou and Nui looked at me for answers before the latter went to see what she wanted, which was followed by a brief conversation.

"Ryuuko, are you okay?"

"Where Mam?"

"Ryuuko, she passed away."

"No! Where Mam?"

"Okay...."

"Where Mam? Want Mam, Nuggie."

She walked back into the room and said, "She's not talking about the Mistress. Don't know who her 'Mam' is but I know she isn't talking about the Mistress." We were puzzled and wondered who she could be talking about, to which Aikurou suggested that I go in the room to see what she wants. I shrugged and went to see what she wanted to which I got the response of, "There Mam."

I glanced up for a moment and said, "No, Ryuuko, my name is 'Satsuki', not 'Mam." She looked at me for a moment, as if trying to comprehend what I've said. I was just as confused as I was being called something that isn't my name or, for that matter, title, as I am not her mother. After looking at me, she blinked and said, "There Mam." I opted to remind her again of what my name and title was.

"No, Ryuuko, I'm not 'Mam', I'm Satsuki, your sister, not your mother. Our mother passed away."

"There Mam."

"No, Satsuki is your sister."

"Mam."

"Sister."

"Mam."

"Satsuki is your sister."

"There Mam."

"Satsuki--"

"Mam, you Mam."

Then she smiled, her face lighting up, and clapped her hands, saying, "Mam!" For some odd reason, I was "Mam" to her and, apparently, in her mind, that was a good thing. After Aikurou and Nui walked into the room, I asked the former as to what he thought to which he said, "Hmm, it seems to be that Ryuuko acknowledges you as more than a sister, rather, she sees you as a protector, a maternal figure to substitute for the one had been deprived of. This would make sense seeing as she mostly interacts with you more and has probably observed how some are with their own children, in which case, she internalized that you protect and love her, making you 'Mam', her protector, more so than 'Satsuki', her sister."

He also pointed out the same for Nui, as she didn't say "Nuh-ee" when she acknowledged her, instead she called her, "Nuggie", which was probably intended as an affectionate nickname, as only she could think of. It was odd, however, the explanation made sense, as verbal wise, Ryuuko isn't well versed but she does know how to get her point across, easily.


	20. "Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks."

 

Mentally, I found myself going onto yet another path of self-destruction, the which was triggered when Nonon said that Ryuuko was a "pretty baby", not one that someone would hide, rather, one that someone would proudly show off. It sounded almost mocking, as our baby sister wasn't proudly shown off, instead, she was locked away, like something that one wasn't supposed to see.

I thought I would have not wanted to search for more secrets but I found myself wanting justice in some way.

It was wishful thinking, as the Mistress had passed away, taking whatever she knew to the grave. Some part of me remained bitter over that, even though, on her deathbed, she redeemed herself. She couldn't atone and no amount of time will wash away what was done. However, I wished she had left some clues as to what she had known for the longest and that she hadn't treated her like in the first place.

As said before, no amount of time will wash that away. At least, Ryuuko has people that love her more so than what our mother never did.

In photographs, we had seen a side of the Mistress we never even thought possible. She seemed so kind and loving then, in way that she reverted back to as she died. I mostly remember her as a cold and distant woman, who would kill with so much as split-second glare in one's direction.

There was a hardly anything maternal about her that I could recall and I don't recall her giving us any hugs, pettings, or kisses, anything in which to show that she loved us.

Sweetly, I should note, Ryuuko seemed to have directed those in which I mentioned towards us, her sisters and Aikurou, however, her kisses are a little wet. In thinking of that, I can never grasp what could have turned the Mistress into something cruel.

I couldn't help but to wonder what on earth the Mistress wanted to forget that our baby sister reminded her of. Obviously, we shared the same two set of parents, as Ryuuko looks too much like us for us to only have shared one parent, after all, we have the same face, eyes, and just about everything else, so, there is no way for the Mistress to have conceived her during an adulturous tryst, however, there is no ruling out that she may have had such a fling around the time of her conception.

Perhaps, our baby sister being the secret was what caused my parents' marriage to collapse. Secrets never did good between a bonded couple and giving birth to and keeping a third child locked away in secret is no exception, of course, I suppose their marriage was already failing and Ryuuko being the Mistress' secret was what had sealed it.

Ryuuko, in what recollections she had, remembered and stated that he wasn't abusive to her, so he interacted with her. I could probably assume that he died trying to find a way to rescue us but I'll never know.

Frankly, I wanted to scream and the comment made me catatonic, rendering me to stare through something, not at it. It was like the world had turned into just a white void. I had some things I'd like to forget and a faliure that tore away at my very being. I won't deny, Ryuuko is beautiful and, if she wasn't so shy, along with being most terrified of many things, she would have been quite rather proudly shown off. I would like to imagine how that would have been if she was proudly shown off and treated like she should have been versus being treated like a dirty secret.

I was shocked out of my catatonia by Nui shaking me. She asked me if I was alright to which I said that I was, lying. However, I needn't lie and, apparently, when it comes to Nui, I am a terrible liar. She knew I wasn't alright, however, she didn't know what was the matter and simply thought I was sick, saying, "I'll ask Aikurou to get you some medicine." I don't know what she thought but she probably figured I wasn't feeling well. I didn't argue with her or protest even as she placed a hand on my forehead. Ryuuko doesn't know very much, however, she was just as concerned, asking, "Mam?" She climbed into my lap, near frantic until I stroked her wispy hair.

The motion was comforting, yet, it was also one she mimicked, hoping it would have the same effect. For her sake, I feigned comfort but I won't deny that it was soothing. It calmed her and she went about her business, however, she would return moments later, repeating what she had done before. She knew I wasn't being myself and wasn't responding well. I tried feigning comfort but she wouldn't be sated. Her petting my hair turned into gripping my clothes like a scared infant, saying, "Be okay, be okay!"

Her behaviour attracted the attention of Houka, Gamagoori, and Uzu, the last of whom said, "Uh, Nonon, maybe you might want to be more mindful of...what you say." Justifiably, Nonon was confused, stating that she wasn't intending it to be insulting, rather, it was supposed to be a compliment, which wasn't hard to see. However, the others began to chime in.

"People give each other compliments all the time, look at her, Ryuuko was very pretty as a baby. Who would want to hide her?"

"Yes, yes, we know that's a compliment, as intended, but, um, in relation to Ryuuko, a compliment can open up a door to a bitter memory."

"Huh?"

"Well, yes, Ryuuko is pretty, downright precious, however, she didn't lead a life that a normal child should have. Remember, Shiro knows something about her but he was afraid of their mother, afraid that she would come after him."

Gamagoori had a more philisophical approach to the matter, saying, "Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks." His metaphor was confusing and it was a long silence before he would elaborate, saying, "Well, you can find all the rocks in the world and use them to destroy the windows and this house and you'd still find yourself running out of them, which is to say, you'd be wanting more answers to the questions that never end and you would probably run out of answers to them."

By this point, Ryuuko was gripping onto my clothes tighter than before, so tight that she had nicked me few times with her nails. I took that she also wanted to be protected from unseen dangers as, the moment Nui reached for her, she let go and climbed into her arms, gesturing to me along the way.

"She's worried about you. She can't articulate that pretty well but it's very clear that she is worried. Yeah, she's had a lot snatched away from her and, while she doesn't quite know it, she does understand that's what happened but she wasn't the only have had a normal life snatched away from her, as the same's happened to you and Nui but mostly you. Sure, I understand that the ache of all that has happened must be particularly painful for you, doubly so, since you are the oldest sister but you can't dwell on that too much. Yes, your father died and, yes, it seems, Ryuuko wasn't born in happy times, then again, if that was the case, do you really want to start digging around in that area? If anything, I don't recommend that you do, as that will bring more heartache and, if anything else, might drive you to mental illness. Likewise, in the case of your father and his demise, frankly, I think some secrets are better left buried. I mean Ryuuko's happy and healthy now, sure, she's stunted in some areas but she's happy, healthy, learning, and thriving under the case her sisters and Aikurou are giving her in the place of her mother who damn well should have. Fact of this being is that you're alive, you're still here, and you cannot keep beating yourself up. You have to do what your mom and Rei couldn't and that's to move on and find peace." he said, leaving behind a long silence behind.

His words were powerful and cut deeper than any sort of blade. I suppose there weren't enough rocks and, as much as I wanted to, I knew burning this house to the ground wouldn't solve anything. I was taken by it and forced myself to ponder the information, however, while I was pondering, Uzu spoke up, "Abusers need no explanation." It was simple, however, he seemed to have made a point but he opted to make a much larger point. 

He made this point by saying, "Abusers need no explanation. She abused her children and she gave no reasons, whatever those were. If you're going to give your mother any credit for anything, it would be that she died admitting that she was wrong and admitted that she couldn't atone. Frankly, ya' could admire her for that as she died knowing she was wrong and made peace with the fact. Fact is, she doesn't need an explanation. She did what she did and there is no changing that. In that vein, like Gama, I'd hate to imagine how your father died and I can hope the truth isn't much worse than I would probably think it to be. Likewise, I'd hate to picture what Iori saw in that basement but, after thinking about it, I can't unsee it. I like how she is now, versus then. If Ryuuko reminded her of something that she wanted to forget, well, then leave that buried, as, if she wanted to forget something, then leave that where it is, as, if you found out what she wanted to forget, then, well, odds are, you're going to wish you had never found it out and try to forget it as well."

They had told me they were very concerned and Nui would inform Aikurou of what went on. Later that night, Ryuuko couldn't sleep and spent a good time bawling and whimpering, before opting to come into my room. It seemed she wanted to be comforted, at first, but it was actually the opposite. She climbed into bed, before petting my hair and clinging to me tightly. She would do this until sleep overtook her in the morning.


	21. Ashes to the Wind

Sometime after that day, I found myself going into the Mistress' office. The last time I had gone in that room was when Nui and I had rescued our little sister, the one she abused. It felt alien that I would even go into that room but something prompted me to. It was an instinct, I could come to say, and probably her ghost possessing me to go into that room. As I had went into the room, I felt an immense amount of guilt and sorrow, which beyond the distant melancholy I had been feeling for some time. I cannot seem to describe exactly how strong the feeling was but I could say it was almost sickening.

Either way, I had walked into the office, closing the door behind me. I found myself, almost as if prodded, going to the bookshelf. On the bookshelf, laying flat, was a book. At first, I thought it was some kind of novel but I found myself wrong once I wiped the dust off. Some things I've come to expect but this was something I would have never expected.

The book I had found was the Mistress' diary.

I wasn't very keen on reading it but something told me to. I wanted to put the book down but my hands refused. By this point, I was willing to accept that, somehow, our mother was possessing me. I can't be for sure if that was the case but, if she was, then she wanted me to know something. Whatever she wanted me to know was in her diary and she wanted me read it.

I opened it to the first page, apparently being around the time I was born,

* * *

  _May 12th,_

_I had a little girl a few days ago. She's beautiful, I won't deny. I'm not going to lie about this and it seems odd but I feel I cannot take care of her. Soichiro thinks otherwise and he might be right but I still feel like I cannot take care of her. I don't know why this is but I assume this to be postpartum depression or some form of it. Fact is, as much I seem to love her, I cannot seem to shake this feeling. The doctor and my husband told me the feeling will pass eventually and that this sort of thing is normal, doubly since this is my very first child._

_At least, Soichiro's here to help me through it._

_\--Ragyo._

* * *

 I knew my parents really loved each other, very much so, at one point. Going by this entry, I would assume that she was troubled by the feelings she was experiencing. She seemed to want very much to connect with her offspring but her feelings got in the way and she didn't know why or how.

I read through the diary with entries detailing her, our father, and us but, as the entries went on, her once warm and kind feelings turned to bitterness as she notes that her and our father had grown distant, as he focused less on her and more on other matters, us, Nui and I, included. I continued to read until I came across an entry that stuck out. It was the second to last entry and, frankly, it seemed she wanted me to read it.

* * *

  _January 2nd_

_This is not fortunate. No, not at all. I am pregnant again and the marriage I have isn't the same. He doesn't know I am carrying, then again, he spends so much time away from home! My marriage is falling apart and I am carrying another. I am a little over a month pregnant and I am not sure what to do but I can tell this one wants to live, whether or not I want it to. I know he plans to divorce me in so little time and he'll probably take the children away. Should I give birth in that span of time, he'll take this one, too. I'll keep this one to myself and I won't let him have it_

_Oh, he thinks I'm acting strange and he told me that's he worried about the children. He asked to me to seek help and we argue frequently. I don't need any help, yet, if I did, then is he so insistent on abandoning me and taking the children with him. I will do just fine taking care of them, by myself, thank you, and I don't need any sort of help. I think he plans on locking me away, just so he can have the kids._

_I won't let him know about this one and I will not allow him to lock me away._

_\----Ragyo._

* * *

 

I didn't know what to think of that. I always figured something was off about the Mistress--our mother--but we couldn't question otherwise. I felt such an overwhelming pain that sent me to my knees and that grief and sadness grew stronger. I suppose I had an explanation as to why she had turned cruel but I am not sure if I can call it a sufficient explanation. I couldn't make sense of it, really. Our father cared about her, cared enough to suggest that she'd get help to deal with her issues, to get well of whatever illness he thought she had. He wanted to keep us safe from her and her erratic behavior. Some pieces started to fall into place, as I remembered one such episode of hers. A memory, it seems, I had long suppressed.

* * *

 

_She had lashed out, as I recall. She was rambling and screaming and it was shortly, about a day, after our father left. Nui had ducked under the bed. It was the one time I didn't remember to hide or flee. No, I didn't do either one, I just stood there, in the hallway, in front of our room. Rei was at the bottom of the stairs and she--the Mistress-- was coming right for me._

_I don't remember much else but I was slapped and, after about a few seconds, I awoke tasting blood and Nui dabbing my lip._

* * *

 

I never forgot the taste of blood but that was my only memory of getting slapped by her. As far as I knew, her behavior was always erratic but I didn't know my father had a taste of it. I had right and reason to assume that her denial and erratic behavior was a driving factor towards a reason as to why he left. I thought of how he wanted to take us with him when he left her. I can only imagine his feelings as he thought of leaving her, his wife, a woman he loved for all those years, or how she disregarded his suggestions for getting help. I felt myself shaking as I ached, wishing she had realized something was wrong and took his suggestions.

No, she didn't, leaving us, her daughters, victims of her own madness, however, we were not the only victims. She went to her grave, at peace with the fact that she wronged her daughters and she had no one but herself to blame. She died a victim of her own madness, just as she lived a victim of her madness. She had an illness and it's a shame that she didn't resolve to fix it for the sake of her, her marriage, and her children. I wanted to resent her for that, for causing us to live with a mother that we feared more than we loved, but, as it seems, I found I could not.

Even in death, she wasn't finished, as she was a driving force for me to enter her office in a long time. She was showing me these things to solve the mysteries there was. She was in this room and I could feel that emotion grow its strongest. The pain of feeling it was so great that I was shaking. She wouldn't be finished until she had gave me her secrets.

With a shaking hand and as careful as I could, I turned the page.

* * *

  _September 5th_

_He died, four days ago. He officially left me September 1st. He stormed out of the door, got in his car, took a drive, and got into a fatal accident. He died quickly and he didn't look like he was very bloody or anything, well, besides his neck being broken in the crash. I had him privately cremated and I put his ashes in a box. Now, he'll never leave me. My daughters don't know and I think that's for the best. It's best that they nor Rei don't know he's gone._

_He also found about her, that one. I take it he wanted to call her "Marigold" and he threatened to go to the authorities with this, what he found out. That child was supposed to be stay a secret but I guess not, now she will stay a secret, no little mishaps. He's had a document made for her. I checked, it's valid, and it lists both of us as the parents. He lists as her "Marigold" with quotation marks, along with stating that her birthday was today and our last name. I barely recall when she was born, just the fact that she came out of me, and how Rei took a photo of her._

_I did stash away that document._

_That is all I have to say._

_\----Ragyou_

* * *

 

I found myself, of what could assume to be my own free will, closing the book. That guilt and sorrow didn't leave me but I had stopped shaking. Like the entry prior, it left me with a lot to take in. Slowly, bit by bit, some things started to fall together, fitting in place, however, haphazardly. At least, his death was quick and not what I would have thought. He went to his grave trying to free her, trying to free us, free us from the woman he once loved. They were once loving and very much in love and its a shame that mental illness, bitterness, and secrets got in the way of that. If her diary entry was anything to go by, then she's admitted to scapegoating Ryuuko, her child, a baby whose only crime was being born at a rather "unfortunate" time, for her marital problems and her demons.

I was taken back to Ryuuko's recollections. She remembered that our mother was abusive but she remembered our father as being loving towards her. My heart shattered for how cruelly fate tore him away from us but her especially, as he wasn't very far from getting her rescued. Death isn't something she has much comprehension of, however, she does feel the pain of loss. She felt his absence and had missed him just was we did. At least, knowing what happened to him gave some bit of comfort, however, Ryuuko will never understand why he isn't coming back.

It turned out there was some record of Ryuuko, after all, however, I suppose, when we get the chance, that we'd demote the name "Marigold" to a middle name and make her first name, on her certificate, Ryuuko, and then it'd be official. I can think of how she would benefit from all of that. At least, we could lay rest to some of the issue we've had.

However, feeling winded, I had left the room still with the diary in my hand. I could still feel her guilt and remorse, it permeated throughout the house. I wasn't feeling just her guilt, as I had also felt Rei's and, while she had lingered, it wasn't as strong. It felt as though both were there and, to some extent, they were, lingering in the home like silent ghosts, whose voices could not heard but their presence felt.

I took my chair by the window and sat looking out of it. I was thinking and lost in a daydream, listening to the birds chirp away. It was late afternoon and Ryuuko was asleep and Nui was doing her homework. I had sat there for a good long while before Nui came into the room and glanced on the table next to me, saying, "I have a thought." I asked as to what her thought about the diary was, to which she started to probe through it. She probed through it for about a few minutes before saying, "You didn't turn the page."

She was right, as I didn't think that the Mistress had hid anything within the diary. It turns out she had, as she had hidden Ryuuko's delayed birth certificate in the back of it. She then went to put it in a frame before putting in a shelf, for safekeeping I suppose. She then turned to me and said, "Why don't we get rid of this one and Rei's?" I ask her how we were supposed to do that, along with asking why, to which she said that it will set them free and then they won't haunt us anymore.

Later, as the sun was going down, with a glass jar in hand, she lit a small fire. By this point, Ryuuko was awake and sitting at the backdoor, watching intently. Once the fire was lit, Nui took both Rei and the Mistress' diaries and tossed them into the fire, watching as they were burned to ash. Once they were burned to ash, she scooped the ashes and put them in the jar before placing the ashes with makeshift urn on the shelf. I was puzzled by this, to which she said, "When we find Dad's ashes, we'll scatter them all to the wind, setting them free."

Not too long after, we did come across our father's ashes. Nui divided some of his ashes into a smaller jar, saying what was in the smaller jar, we'd keep, while what was in the box, we'd scatter. I didn't know why we'd keep some of his ashes but, then again, she probably had her reasons.

As the sun was setting, Aikurou took us to a clear area, a field of wildflowers near a creek. According to one of the photos of our parents, this was where our parents had one of their happier moments, dancing in this field. It was fitting, this way, to scatter the ashes of him and the Mistress' diary over a place where they were genuinely happy. Likewise, in the case of Rei's diary, I had quietly remembered the kind of flowers she used to tend to and the fact that she used to watch the sunset.

After counting to three, with Ryuuko saying, "Bye-bye!", we simultaneously released the ashes, scattering them to the wind. As we did so, we felt a warm but faint embrace. It was for but a moment, however, I knew they were saying goodbye. That guilt and sadness I had initially felt had gone, blowing away like the ashes to the wind. Something within wanted to go and chase after them, to try to catch them once again. In wanting to do so, I felt tears rolling down my face.

Seeing those ashes scatter was bittersweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially, the name Souchiro wanted to give her was originally intended to be "Margarette", however, I though, "Naw, something else." so I went though about a few other names, one of which being "Magnolia", however, I figured "Marigold" made more sense, since the flower, marigold, symbolize sad things.
> 
> Thus, "Marigold" it was.


	22. A Father's Final Gift

It's a good thing Nui decided to probe through the diary, as, otherwise, we wouldn't have discovered Ryuuko's birth certificate. Before he died, he had a delayed birth certificate made for Ryuuko, which listed her name as "Marigold" (with quotation marks, included). Neither of us know why he wanted to call her "Marigold", however, I figured it might have been because marigolds reminded him of one of the times he was happier with the woman he loved, considering the field they were dancing in has marigolds among its wildflowers.

He wanted to make it up to her and, cruelly, he couldn't make it up to her in life. At least, he made it up to her in death by leaving behind a delayed birth certificate. I suppose Rei would've had to have helped him with it, considering the Mistress probably didn't recall what year she was born, and the fact that she was the one who was there when Ryuuko was born. Thus, we did have records.  

Aikuro contacted Tsumugu, who then looked over the certificate and said, "Yes, this is legit, no forgery or anything. Since, she has this, she can at least obtain a social security number, however, we must change the name on her birth certificate since, clearly, her name isn't 'Marigold' and neither does she go by that name." Nui, curious, asked as to how that works, to which he explained that we needed Ryuuko's certificate and some money, as name changes are expensive. My sister stood a moment to ponder that before asking how much, to which we got the answer of "About $405, possibly more".

Ryuuko watched us intently, not sure of what to think on what was going on. She was unaware of what our father did for her and the fact that he wanted to name her "Marigold", however, she was aware that something was going on. She just watched as we had our conversation before going off to see what Meela was up to, briefly returning, every fifteen minutes. Our conversation about her delayed birth certificate and social security numbers had concerned her, as she was the subject of this, yet she didn't know and neither did she really have to, considering that she had no concepts of legal jargon and neither does she have a comprehension of much it is to do with her. She wouldn't have to handle these things, of course, and neither would she have known what do with them.

I told him that I had the money to have the document altered, to which he said, "Very well, then, all you need is a recent photograph of her and for her to be present when you have hearing." I would tell him how difficult that would be, as Ryuuko is terrified of most things, thus she would be quick to put up a fight. As we sorted out ways to go about this, Nui suggested that, when we go to the court of records, we'd entice her with favorite toy, something to help her feel secure so she won't be scared.

We made this venture the week after and Ryuuko wasn't very keen on getting into the car, until Nui produced a stuffed rabbit, which calmed her. She was whimpering and to the point of screaming like she normally would be but seeing the stuffed rabbit caught her attention. I suppose Nui was correct in that being a bargaining chip, as it did calm her down some. We got her in the car and buckled her in, while she held the rabbit rightly. She was still apprehensive and, frankly, I suppose she had reason to be, as her few experiences with public places had not been good ones.

It hadn't take us long to get there and, once we had arrived, we went got her into her wheelchair and went into the building. She was saying, "No!" in protest. It was a quiet day and the line wasn't long, which meant we could get this over with, but, whether that be case, she didn't seem to be quite far from throwing a tantrum. "Go home! Go home!" she said loudly, bordering on screaming. I reassured her that we would be home soon but she wouldn't have it. She was insistent on going home and not waiting in line but I had decided we were going to do this, whether she liked it or not.

When we made the appointment, she quieted some, eyeballing the receptionist woman as if she recognized her, then again, she was probably taking note of how odd this woman looked to her in comparison to other people. Of course, she hadn't been around other people much and, certainly, this woman's appearance was something she had a hard time gauging, especially since she was heavyset, wore a bright red dress with a sloppy flower pattern, pearls, had frizzed blond turning gray hair, and had squinty eyes peering through large thick horned rimmed glasses connected to her dress by a dainty pearl chain. It was a long conversation and the woman, who introduced herself as Elaine, said, while adjusting her glasses while looking at the photograph of Ryuuko, "Huh, I thought she had passed away." 

It felt like I got hit with a rock and, not understanding, I asked her as to what she meant to which she gave the answer of, "It was stated on public records of your family that your mother had three children but one died." She then went on to state that our mother had a third child but had, on a survey, listed that she had died , however, she didn't state as to when the child was born. She then went on to say how mystified she was as to how that was remotely possible, acknowledging how no one questioned it.

"You mean to tell me that records list her as deceased?"

"Yes, they do."

"How?!"

"Now, now, I am not really sure but I think she simply reported that she had given birth at home and that the child had died roughly a few hours after."

I went on to explain to her, as she listened intently, that Ryuuko had not died, actually, she had been hidden in a cellar since she was baby and, before he died, my father had the document made for her. I told her it was true that that our sister had been born at home, however, I had made it clear neither of us knew our mother had her listed as deceased and explained that we are confused

"Hmm," Elaine said, adjusting her glasses and twiddling her fingers, "it's very possible that your father's records might have been crossed with hers when he died, even more so, when your mother stated that she had died at birth, the fact that she wasn't acknowledged in any public records, and neither did she have a social security number, so the fact that, when your father died, she declared deceased, despite having the certificate, in which case, that shouldn't be hard to correct, as there is proof that she exists and most certainly hasn't died."

It was a rather long time filling out papers, so much so that my hand was quite sore. The lady went through the papers and verified that all was true. She had a new certificate printed up with Ryuuko's full name and we had a hearing to where Ryuuko was no longer legally dead and that she was assigned a social security number.

In the end, through death, our father gave Ryuuko one final gift.


	23. Playmates for Ryuuko

This sort of thing was something I had quietly dreaded, considering that Ryuuko hadn't quite learned to interact with other children. Actually, if I recall, she's not much interested in going into public places and other people she's not quite interested in if she doesn't know all that well. Nevertheless, Aikurou and Mrs. Mankanshoku suggested it, citing that it's crucial that she does learn how to interact with other people, that, and Nui's getting to the point where she doesn't have as much time to play with her.

"Well, she has to get used to being a place with a lot of people. It'll be hard to adjust to the concept but, one of these days, she's gonna have to get used to being around other kids." Aikurou said, later pointing out that there are schools or daycares she can go to go to, along with the fact that we have documents to send her. I told him that I would ask Ryuuko's opinion and see what she thought. Frankly, thinking about it, one would consider it silly to consider or expect that she would even express an opinion, let alone even have one. I suppose it probably was, double since I had the authority on such matters, yet I saw it fit to ask her.

Of course, she did have an opinion and she did express it, saying, "Don't want to. Would want to stay home." She could be stubborn and this was one of such times in which she was being stubborn. This wasn't the first instance and it won't certainly be the last, however, she seemed to be more insistent than in past instances. I suppose she had reason to be opposed as she doesn't know what a school is or why she is probably going to be enrolled into one.

I told Aikurou what her opinion was, to which he said, "Well, I figured she'd say that, then again, Ryuuko is most comfortable at home, however, she'd have to learn to venture out of comfort zones, soon, and, besides, CPS came after you once and there is a very good chance they're gonna come after you again, especially, if you don't send her to a school. Of course, I understand some trepidation on both ends."

"Trepidation?"

"Yes, trepidation. Clearly, Ryuuko isn't comfortable with the idea of going to a school because it means she'll be away from home, whereas, you're worried because you're probably afraid of how the teachers might respond to some of Ryuuko's antics or if they'll have the same level patience and understanding, along with the fact that you're afraid of Ryuuko's negative experiences will traumatize her more than what has already been."

"I suppose you are right."

"Well, I suggest taking her to the park to get her used to the prospect of other kids."

"I suppose then again, the last time we had went into public, Ryuuko, apparently, decided she didn't like the person next to us and gave them a scratch."

"Where did she scratch them?"

"She delivered scratches on the neck, in the skin over the jugular. I don't know why she did and neither did she grasped the severity of her actions."

"I see. Well, that does explain a lot, as her behavior is worrisome. I figure she might be the same another kid, then again, she might not. Of course, Ryuuko isn't real sure as to how to cope with what could be a stressful setting, thus she might up and bite or hit a kid. However, since she does have a rather expanded vocabulary and average intelligence, she could learn how to interact properly with people and, perhaps, I could be wrong, be noted, it's possible that Ryuuko just wants to interact with other people but just doesn't know how."

"Hmm?"

"You see, she hasn't been around too much gentle touches in early childhood. and, while she has about average intelligence, it's clear that, mentally, she is still a baby and hasn't quite learned not to hit, thus, she would probably interact that way, being confused and upset when it gathers a hostile reaction."

"Oh...."

"Yes, like I said, she probably just wants to interact but just isn't sure how, then again, she could be picking up on a cue that the other person or you were giving."

After much discussion, we thought it'd be fit to search for a school for her. Some schools were too far and other schools seemed questionable, so we settled on the ones that will let us do visits. I would call it crucial that we'd visit the schools, see how we like them, and whether or not they'd be accommodating to her needs, along with being tolerant of her habits.

We had taken her to the first one on our list, however, unfortunately, she didn't take well to the teacher, actually, she had bitten her, hard enough to leave a mark, and started screaming. The bewildered woman asked if that was a normal occurrence to which I said, "Yes." I went on to say that, clearly, we could not see enrollment there and thanked her for her time. Ryuuko had contented herself once we had left. If she ever had any smugness, then she clearly wasn't expressing it. 

We went to the second one on our list. They seemed nice and accommodating, however, Ryuuko seemed to hate the classroom but, otherwise, she seemed to like the other students. Of course, if I had learned anything about job interviews, it's that some things shouldn't be mentioned, in which case, if I had opted remember that, then I wouldn't have let it slip that our little sister hasn't yet mastered using the toilet. The woman was inquisitive--prying-- , asking why Ryuuko hadn't been toilet trained to which I responded that she is terrified of the noise and, thus, as to be expected, she wears diapers until we can come up with a way to toilet train her without her reacting terribly. I suppose the fact that Ryuuko not being toilet trained had quite cut her chances of being enrolled, as, while they are accommodating, Ryuuko's needs were not something they could really help with, as they haven't had a student that needed help using the restrooms or keeping themselves clean. It was preposterous, to say the least, but was the case

I told this to Aikurou when we got in the car, to which he said, "Mmm, that's strange, then again, the school is probably understaffed and underfunded, in which case, they can only accommodate some children with certain special needs vs others, however, I think it's best to let the school know what Ryuuko's needs are, in which case, as what you said could aid in some understanding on the matter." He then went to tell me that Ryuuko is minus a diaper and to remedy that problem before she decides a car seat is place to do her business.

After replacing her diaper, we went to the third school on our list. I suppose Ryuuko decided that she liked this one and the environment it offered as she opened up to the teacher almost immediately, grabbing her wrist, and that she was curious about the other students and what they were doing. Typically, she prefers to ignore anyone or anything irrelevant to whatever it is she might be thinking. I suppose I would call Aikurou right in his assumption that she only wanted to interact but didn't know how, considering that she decided to, albeit, lightly, I should note, swat at one other girl. They seemed to be having something a conversation with what they were doing, gesturing and what not.

"Ryuuko likes it here." Nui said, "Perhaps, she should come here." She was right, this school really was the best place for her to go. I realized I was going about this wrong way, perhaps, as Ryuuko, in some quiet way, wanted to pick where she very much wanted to go. She would be content and, certainly, she would adjust quite nicely here.


	24. "May have hug?"

**Music Playing** :  _[Mononoke Hime Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi3VR_TWIoM) _ by Masaki Endoh

* * *

 

As said at least once before, Ryuuko can be affectionate and gives her affection regardless if one asks it or not. However, comfort isn't something that she asks for, which is to say, verbally. She comes to someone for comfort, certainly, but doesn't say she want it, she just shows that she does. Of course, likewise, while she has grasped some rather small semblance of comprehensive speech, she tends to talk whenever, more often than not, gesturing.

This time was different. Something was bothering her but she couldn't identify what it was, regardless she was agitated. I figured, perhaps, that she was just upset and why she was required no real explanation. Likewise, I figured she would probably sort it out herself like she sometimes does, however, she didn't do that. Instead, while I was reading, she came to me asked a question consisting of three words, the words being "May have hug?"

I opted to oblige her and, as soon as I did so, she clung to me, refusing to let go. She was agitated, asking for comfort and protection from dangers she probably couldn't see. It was late, certainly, and, soon, she'd be put to bed but, for the moment, she's being held in my arms, recieving comfort from whatever she feared. I suppose her agitation was a sign of her impending sleepiness, in which case, she would interpret it the way she would most things she doesn't know, thus regarding it with agitation.

After holding her for a good hour or two, I put her to bed, to which, before falling asleep, she said, "Don't go 'way, Mam. Stay here, want Mam stay here." I obliged her yet again, however, I decided to ask her what was the matter, to which she gave the response that our father had gone away and she didn't want me to go away either before asking where did he go. She was communicating the loss she felt and wanted him to come back. I could feel those bittersweet faded memories of him return and my heart ache. I missed him even more in that moment than few others, more because I wished he was there with us.

I tugged at her a bit and brought her to the window before she pointing to the sky. The stars seemed to have caught her attention, leading her to ask, "Those?" I responded that they were stars and that, wherever the stars are, is where people who go away go, saying, "He's up there, now, with the stars and with the stars is where people who go away go." I then went on to tell her that he's loved her and how, from up there, he's watching over us. I also told her that he is always with us and that, if she's sad and want to see him, all she has to do is look at the sky.

She looked at them for awhile before bidding them good night and falling asleep in my arms. I held her for a bit, just as a I felt a warm but very brief embrace.

I reconciled that our father returned briefly to comfort me and reassure me that I was doing well.


	25. Remembering Shiro

**Music Playing:** _[Embers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfQwT3Dr-r8)_ by Helen Jane Long

* * *

 

I barely remember when I had last seen Shiro. He came to visit and that was when Ryuuko offered some degree of forgiveness for his inability to help her. I haven't heard much from him since. Last thing I did hear from him was that he was doing fine was all. It seemed fairly recent that he had told me that, however, it wasn't, as he had last told me that a good year and a half ago. Bad news about him came sudden, I should note, and I didn't immediately anticipate the very worse. No, actually, I never anticipated the worse, not in regards to him.

Especially, if the worse was a tragedy.

He had died, not too long ago. We had gotten the news about his impending demise from the hospital in which he was staying. He had no next of kin, as his relatives had all passed, so his friends were the only ones who could be told about him. We were each contacted in roughly two days and two hours before he passed. None of us could say if he was sick but there was little that could be done about the matter. He was dying, whether the cause of his demise be clear or not. I suppose him dying was a given as he was never known to be a well person but I had never anticipated for him to go so soon and at so young.

I suppose unhappiness can be contagious, as Ryuuko had caught on to it. "Shiro going away?" to which I had confirmed, leaving her to respond, "Don't want 'im to go away! Want 'im to stay!" I calmed her, telling her that Shiro was going to the sky, where our father went, and that there wasn't anything we could do about it, along with that "going away to the sky" was a part of life. I told her that we didn't want Shiro to go either but he just couldn't stay, as he was really sick and that, sometimes, sick people have to go away. 

We opted to dress nicely, yet simple. It was a quiet day, sunny even, and the nurses guided the way to his room. Absently, I noted how spacious it was, despite him having no roommate but I suppose it was to accommodate more visitors besides us. The curtains were closed save for a few slits and the machines were soft, softly beeping and such. He lay sleeping, unaware that we were there, in the beginnings of the final throes of death. With trepidation, Ryuuko approached him and his bedside. The intravenous drips caught her attention, obviously, as she played with them a bit, however, her messing with them ceased as quickly as it began. She opted to sit quietly in his bed next to him, while she patted his head, before seizing that gray streak and resting her head on his shoulder. She didn't try to wake him or anything. She said nothing, just instinctively affectionate to him in his final moments.

Even as the others slowly came in, he never awoke. I suppose he would be going quietly, slipping away from us like dandelion seeds to the wind. Despite having no comprehension of death, I knew our sister could feel him slip away. I wanted to shield her from that, really, but I suppose she had to see what death was for herself. At least, he was going quietly and not kicking and screaming, along with him not feeling anything. Frankly, I wish he could have awakened so he could see us all again, one last time.

The beepings of the machines had slowed after a good hour. The sunshine started to wane and, in the distance, we could hear the rain fall. He twitched but, yet, he still didn't awake, however, he seemed to have acknowledged Ryuuko being by him, as his head rested briefly on top of hers. After a few hours, the beeping slowed to a complete stop, ending in a flatline against the falling rain. The noise startled her, certainly, however, she didn't scream, instead, she just sat and sobbed softly. It didn't require much comprehension to know what the noise meant. He was gone and she knew it. She couldn't deny the fact and neither did she try to, not that she probably knew how. He was, as we could say, the first friend she had ever made, someone who she had forgiven, someone with whom she empathized, the loss of whom would profoundly affect her.

He had quietly slipped away, as she had held onto him, powerless to keep him from leaving.


	26. A Dinner Amongst Friends

Its been awhile since we had last gathered. It has been roughly a month since Shiro passed away and, surely, he would probably tell us to have dinner together and be friends, instead, he would want us to continue. I suppose it would be rather nice to get together and talk. I wondered as to how we should go about it, double since Ryuuko isn't known for her manners, actually, she is quite known for making the choice of getting up from her seat and walking (on two legs, by means of holding onto the table) around to snatch food from someone else's plate, double the case if its a dessert.

Nevertheless, she had grown used to their time-to-time visits but she still didn't seem to warm up to Nonon. Actually, the last time she had seen her, she had decided to push her down the front steps. She didn't succeed, however, while that was the case, it didn't stop her from slapping her square in the eye when she had gotten close enough. Later that day, she decided that Nonon needed a punishment of sorts for being there, in which case, she bit her on the hand.

Clearly, as to be expected, Ryuuko didn't seem to quite so keen on a gathering. However, she was irritated to begin with and probably hungry. She didn't know how to read a clock, regardless, seems to know what time it was or what it was nearing. It was a good two and a half hours from dinnertime, yet, I was cooking early. Our friends offered to bring food, so I won't be cooking much, I know, but it was right to start early as to be prepared.

She watched, fascinated, yet keeping her distance, except to probably grab a tidbit of whatever was left over. I would swat her hand away but she would reach, eventually grabbing at a bone. She wouldn't eat this precarious object but she would suck on or gnaw at it. I found that amusing, double as she found the bone to be a plaything and pacifier of sorts. It kept her amused until our guests came.

Secretly, I found it funny that she opted to take that bone in which amused her and hurled it square at Nonon. From what I didn't know nor expect, she had aim, as it the bone hit Nonon square in the shoulder, narrowly missing her face. Fortunately, most of Ryuuko's food can be eaten with a spoon, so we needn't worry about her severely injuring someone. "My," Aikuro said, "does she do this often?" I responded that she doesn't but that she doesn't like Nonon much, to which he shrugged and suggested that she probably didn't like her because she didn't know her.

We started dinner with conversation about what everyone was up to since we had last seen each other, while Nonon and Ryuuko were shooting daggers at one another. Wordlessly, our little sister seemed to be making threats, glances, gestures, and all. Nui glanced at her, as she was gesturing, before saying, "I'm not translating any of that!" Nui seemed to be better at reading Ryuuko's gestures, as I didn't initially catch exactly what it was that she was gesturing, besides that it seemed to be threats and insults, however, the moment she said she wasn't going to translate it, I caught on and admonished Ryuuko, saying, in harsh whispery tone, "That's not nice."

She understood and stopped but still continued to shoot daggers. She had an expression that said, "Stay on your side of the table, Nonon!" Actually, not only did she have the expression, when Nonon moved to be excused, she said, "Your side, stay, Nono!", which meant what she intended it to mean. Nonon continued on her way, to which she got something of a hiss when she took her seat again. "I did nothin' to you!" Nonon said, to which Ryuuko took it as a challenge. It took only about a few seconds and she was over where Nonon was, glaring at her hard.

She stared at her for a good minute before reaching up to scratch her face. Nonon hadn't any bit of time to anticipate that and flinched back, leaving Ryuuko to say, "Nono's side!" before pointing to where she was initially, saying, "My's side!" She returned to her place, still glaring daggers. She wouldn't be glaring daggers for long, as she turned to address Uzu, saying, "Zuzu?" before going over to his spot to snatch a tidbit. He didn't mind this, however, and let her do that, as she played with green returning to brown hair.

She then went over to Gamagoori and compared heights, before swiping an apple slice, eating that one before being offered another, taking it appreciatively and patting Gamagoori on the head. She went over to Houka's spot, in which case, instead of taking food, she instead took his glasses, the object fascinating her. I suppose she was looking to add them to whatever collection of fascinating things she had found, considering that she doesn't know what glasses are.

With glasses still in her hand, she crept over to Nui, saying, "Nuggie!" She didn't take much from her plate besides a piece of chicken and a fork before asking, "Loohn?" I suppose she wanted Nui to sing to the song " _Au clair de la lune_ ", regardless if anyone knew why besides that she enjoyed it. Instead of singing, Nui hummed instead, leaving our little sister content, prompting her to return to her spot but not without creeping over to Aikurou's spot to snatch another bone, the which she had thrown at Nonon.

She seemed to have let her alone after that, opting to ignore her until dessert, in which case, she decided to hobble over to where Nonon was and snatch of her dessert to add onto hers. She went back to gesturing to which Nui responded again that she wasn't going to translate it, however, she added that what she was gesturing was lighter than before (i.e her not swearing).  
  
She didn't seem to bother Nonon through the duration of the visit, to which Aikurou commented on saying, "I guess she just doesn't like Nonon much or, rather, she just doesn't like her in the house too much, in which case, she's showing Nonon that this house is her house. Alternatively, she just doesn't like her in general."

He was right, as just as she was leaving she tried to trip her, however, she stopped and just hit her with a shoe, instead.


	27. Reading

If things didn't frighten her, they certainly fascinated and attracted her curiosity, in which case, Ryuuko was thusly fascinated with what Nui was doing. She was reading and, while she had learned to count, she was illiterate and hadn't learned to read or write. I suppose her learning to read was a bit of a far cry from her learning proper speech, as she could learn that verbally and being around others, however, she had not quite mastered even that, considering that it hasn't clicked to use personal pronouns or articles. At least, she can, to a degree, communicate fluently and be understood, even if she isn't always specific.

My observation of her observation elicited my curiosity, leaving me to wonder if she could be taught to read, if not write. So far, she doesn't seem to be incapable of learning anything, considering how her vocabulary is and the fact that, while her highest number is 20 (the number of fingers and toes she has total), she had regardless learned to count. I thought about how some had learned to read when they were much older than she, although they had difficulty.

Perhaps becoming literate could aid further in her rehabilitation, after all, learning is key to advancement of some sorts. I popped the question to Aikurou, getting the response, "You could try, certainly, but it can't be guaranteed, however, I suppose if you were to go about this, then you might start by showing her how to identify letters and how to spell."

"How would we teach her how to spell?"

"Not really sure but your grandmother showed your father and I how to spell by using those blocks with letters on them."

"Letter blocks?"

"Yes, the kind that babies play with."

I thought for a moment, remembering what they were or what they looked like, before asking as to where we'd procure them. He said we could obtain them at a Wal*Mart. When Nui had nothing else to do, I sent her on an errand to retrieve them. She sat Ryuuko down and lined up the block alphabetically. Slowly, one by one, she identified them, instructing Ryuuko to do the same. Awkwardly, she attempted pronunciation and eyed Nui for approval. She received some approval before she was brought through the lesson again, however, she was brought to the associated sounds.

Ryuuko blinked and glanced up for a moment before looking at the blocks again. Something had clicked. She had realized that the letters had sounds, something that she hadn't quite figured before. She identified the letters by their sound, saying them each in the order in which they had come. She would turn this into something of a song, however, she didn't seem to place them in any particular rhythm.

Once she had learned the sounds and the order, Nui had went about rearranging them into words, starting with Ryuuko's name. Justifiably, Ryuuko sat confused and asked, "Huh?" before saying, to the best of her abilities, that letters have an order to go into. Nui glanced up and said, "Yes, they do, typically, however, we are using them to spell your name, Ryuuko."

"Spell?

"Yes, you're going to learn how to spell."

"Why?"

"So you can read, Ryuuko."

"Read?"

"Yes, Ryuuko, you're going to learn how to read."

She was confused by the notion, considering she didn't really know what reading and spelling was. In a faint wish, I wondered how that would have been if Ryuuko had learned some degree of literacy when she younger. I suppose she would been confused just as she would have been now.

Learning letters was new to her, much like many other things but learning literacy, even if it's just possibly limiting her to reading, is a stretch, nevertheless, worth trying, especially since she is quite further advanced than how most people would assume. This process would be long and repetitive, which would give her something to occupy whatever boredom she might have when not doing anything else.

We were at this for about a month and, after some time, she seemed to have grasped some of the basics, in which case she started to spell small words, such as "Mam", "sad", "cat", "no", and, "lily", along with various others. I suppose she found another way in which to communicate, as she seemed to be quite good at expressing her mood through said letter blocks, spelling the words "sad" or "no" to indicate upset (the latter being indicative of anger or annoyance).

She could spell a few names, those names being "Nugie" (a misspelling of "Nuggie"), "Kurou", and "Sats". I found the last one to be interesting considering that she doesn't call me by my real name, nevertheless, finding it relevant to learn how spell it anyway. While she could spell those, she couldn't seem to figure out how to spell her name, then again, she doesn't quite understand the concept of varied spelling, so, the closest she would get to spelling her name would be to spell it "Ryuu".

After some time of spelling, one night, Ryuuko decided she wanted to try something else. She wanted a story and promptly brought me the little children's book titled _Pat the Bunny_. I obliged her, not knowing what else to do, figuring it will be good for her. We've taken a good while reading, as, when I would read, she would repeat what was read, almost exactly as read, except instead of saying "Pat", she would say, "Pet", in which case, she was referring to the fact that it was a touch and feel book we were reading or that "pat" sounded very much like "pet", at least to her, both being three-letter words meaning much the same.

When we had finished, she asked, "Read t'morrow?" to which I affirmed. The next night, she had brought me the book, titled _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_. The book certainly kept us entertained and, like the night before, she repeated most of what was read to her. This would continue for awhile before she started to grasp what was going on.

After some time of that, she eventually she could spell out and recite the words in a sentence, however, at times, disregarding the syntaxes involved in them or confusing words. Reading still had its progress and we never stopped. It would take some time and she was reaching small steps, reading and reciting words to the best of whatever ability she had.

After some time of this, she had learned how to read sentences and not piece by piece, depending on their length, however, she would get puzzled if she came across a word she didn't really know or didn't know how to say and, again, syntaxes remained confusing I suppose she could read a little but not too much, considering how much she's practically learned. Kindergarten and preschool books could be imposed a favorite, considering how simple the words were, regardless if she knew what the words meant.

Reading to her at night became routine, something she'd get upset over if we didn't stick to it. We would honor her wishes, until we'd run out of books, in which case, she'd demand new ones to be found. Apparently, like associating reading with something entertaining and spelling with communication, she associated a new book with good behavior, thus more to add to her collection.

Nevertheless, I would say we were successful with teaching her some literacy but, what she was taught, she might not advance past.  


	28. September 5th

She didn't know that September 5th was her birthday, then again, her birthday was never celebrated or even acknowledged. The Mistress noted, absently, in her diary that she didn't remember much about Ryuuko being born outside of the fact that she was outside of her body and that Rei took a photograph. On the anniversary of our baby sister's secret birth, Rei took her life, leaving behind her diary, revealing a child who was kept locked away. Her birthday was also the day that our mother's final diary entry was written on, four days after our father's death. To celebrate would be bittersweet, sweet because of what we had overcome and bitter because of how much we suffered and how much we've lost.

I found myself talking to a photo which sat by an of his ashes, telling him about how I had to thank him, saying, "Father, I must thank you, frankly, as, despite it all, you had left Ryuuko with a memory of kindness, showing her that cruelty doesn't have to be all she knows."  My eyes stung with tears that were defiant. I had only cried once and that was after the Mistress had died, yet, while I felt the need, I found myself unable to.

I would wonder as to how we should celebrate the day she was born. I suppose we could bake a cake for her, however, she'd probably eat it, likely before we'd even have the chance to put icing on it. Of course, she'd probably eat the icing, too, out of the can of course. She's not particular at times with visitors, so, perhaps, a quiet celebration with just Aikurou and us. Wasn't sure as to what to get her for presents or how many but, well, I figure one or two will suffice. 

It'd be nice to give her something extra special to look forward to, considering that she's never celebrated a birthday before and is generally used to getting something special as a reward, thus she'd love the thought of her birthday.

With curiosity, she watched us make preparations for that day, not bothering to interrupt, just that watch. I suppose it would be like a surprise, something that she'd be overjoyed to see, yet didn't expect. She didn't ask about what we were doing, thank heavens, however, she was content with watching and trying to piece together what she was seeing. I suppose she was making an effort of this, considering how quiet she was during our preparations. She would leave her spot, certainly, but she'd always return to watch.

  If she wasn't watching, she would find something to sate her curiosity, in which case, she grabbed an eggshell, lightly fingering it. She would have eaten it had I not have stopped her but, either way, she was fascinated with what we were doing and with an eggshell. Of course, when she broke it, she went to steal another and took a great deal of care not to repeat the same mistake. Frankly, I am not really sure as to what she'd do with an eggshell, then again, she'd probably add it to her collection of interesting things. I would suppose a suitable birthday present would be one of those plastic Easter eggs, that way, at least, she could have an eggshell and one that she probably won't break, not with ease anyway. 

Surely, her birthday occasion will be a special time. I went about buying a few presents, including those plastic Easter eggs, regardless if I was slightly overcharged. I neglected to buy gift wrap but I figured newspaper will suffice, considering that she'd just tear at it, like she always does. I could imagine her happy, very much so and I knew she would be.

  That blessed day came and Ryuuko found herself curious, yet very much elated. It seemed with the cake, she didn’t seem to want to share, considering that she decided that Nui’s slice was hers, promptly eating a large chunk of it. She was ecstatic and quite happy to share her happiness with us.

   The day was lovely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll,
> 
> Anywho, sorry for getting this to ya'll like way late but this chapter took a long time to write and, obviously, I don't have internet at my house (yet, though I hope to) and the fact I don't work on one project. The next chapter, I have to find an idea for it, perhaps making it Nui or more Ryuuko-centric. 
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoyed,
> 
> \----Amo.


	29. An Accident

        It was a typical day and I was coming home from school. I don't recall much else but I do recall waking up in a hospital, with Ryuuko shaking me and Sats looking bewildered. The doctors said I would recover but that, odds are, I would require some physical therapy and that my healing process would be a long one. Sats was upset and Ryuuko, well, she didn't know, as some things just don't click, especially how life changed in a large way since Shiro passed away, however, she did know that I won't "go away".

    I was told my injured were caused by an accident and that, for a little while, I wouldn't be able to walk. After a few weeks, I was sent home and some things went on for a while as if nothing has changed but I knew they had. Temporarily, I had to drop out of regular school and continue my studies at home, however, with me being home, I was often left in charge of Ryuuko for whenever she wasn't in school (Mrs. Mankanshoku isn't available, otherwise).

Neither of us really minded but our baby sister really did like poking at my injured and mangled leg. Again, as noted before, she didn't grasp as to exactly how much life had changed, just that things were different and that I was at home, now, more available to her than ever. I would say she was lucky not to know or understand as the implications could upset her.

While she poked it, I never anticipated her asking about it, asking, "T'at?" I told her that I got hurt was all and that's why my leg was wrapped up and looked the way it does. She tilted her head and then went to look at her legs before shaking her head, saying, "Not." I told her that her legs were different than mine but how hers ended up that way was because of stuff she had zero control. Either way, she was confused but accepted my explanations regardless.

  I guess Sats could give her a better one, as she pointed to my leg and then hers, before asking the question she asked before. Her answer was simple but suffice and Ryuuko accepted it as true. To elaborate, Satsuki just simply stated, "Sometimes people get hurt and they stay that way for a while. Nui got hurt and she'll stay like that for a while." Of course, while she accepted it as thus, Ryuuko had no concept of time or, rather, she had no concept of how long "awhile" could be.

True to what Satsuki said, I was stuck like that for a while. According to a doctor, my leg was healing and I would have physical so I won't require surgery, however, life would never be the same again, as I would be stuck with a limp. Ryuuko didn't grasp this, then again, she hasn't walked on two legs, so, if there was something wrong with one of them, she'd resort to her arms and other leg to move and get around. I envied her for that, as her naiveness protected her, allowing her to get used something life altering, then again, her life was altered long before it began. Of course, it wasn't her fault as to why she's so innocent, after all, a bum leg isn’t much to her because she’s never dealt with one and neither has she seen someone with a bum leg.

  However, I didn't know she had a different way of looking at it. I would find this out when she decided that whatever schoolwork I was doing wasn't as important as she was, so, she decided to take matters into her own hands by swiping it when I was using the bathroom, leaving me to return with it gone. She hid it and wasn't keen on telling me, the which she stated, with a defiant, " _No!"_ when I told her to tell me. I asked her if I had to find it, to which she clearly didn't say "No" to, leaving me to conclude that she wasn’t going to cooperate nor help me find my schoolwork.

  I was clueless as to where she would hide it, at first figuring there weren’t too many possibilities, then I remembered what happened with Satsuki’s socks and the fact that she was satisfied with herself. We found one sock but we didn't find the other, leaving us to wonder as to how she'd manage to find places in which to hide them in a short amount of time, as our backs were only turned for a short moment. Short moment or not, time was not a figment to Ryuuko and, if she wants to do something, she'll do it, a second to an hour be damned.

I was searching until Satsuki got home, in which case, she was confused but then figured it out. "I suppose Ryuuko was wanting attention?" she asked, glancing up at the ceiling, to which I told her, "It seems." She then told me she would leave me to my devices, while Ryuuko was making the closest thing we could equate with a smirk. I asked her if she was happy, to which she let out something of a laugh. I had to wonder if she was sitting on it but I would be proven when wrong when she moved, revealing that she wasn't sitting on it. She was sitting on something but my homework wasn’t it.

Mangled leg be damned, I still searched, while she watched, making something of an amused giggle. She was enjoying this and she made it no secret. She would watch me search desperately for my homework and never reveal where she'd hidden it. Now that I think of it, she probably doesn't remember where she's hidden my assignment, regardless, she's enjoying the result. I would be at this for hours while Ryuuko watched, until Satsuki called my name.

I went to see what she wanted and, surprise, surprise. My homework was in her hand. She told me that she had found it while putting something away. Without looking at her, I could tell Ryuuko was making her impression of a shit-eating grin. I would suppose she’s had her fun.


	30. "Dark"

Dark.   
Don't want to be here, want out.   
She comes down. Don't like it.   
  
She stay.   
He go away, want him back  
He won't come  
  
She not nice  
She hurt  
She scary  
  
Why?  
  
Why she scary?


	31. The Flu

Satsuki was never one to get sick, well, according to Nui, anyway, so her catching the flu was something of a surprise but it wasn't impossible. I suppose, between caring for her sisters and trying to keep things afloat, she might have been neglecting her health or, to the very least, failing to get any vaccinations. Of course, in her being ill and aware of it, she told Nui to tell me to get them to a pharmacy or clinic to get them flu shots so they won't contract her illness.

 Nui, as I would imagine, could withstand the flu, however, Ryuuko would leave much to be decided, considering her being a feral child and having not much of, if any, exposure to disease. Regardless, the current strain of the influenza virus did leave Satsuki practically bedridden, so, in which case, it was probably more crucial for Ryuuko to get a vaccine, as catching the flu could land her in the hospital. Now, as we could see, that would not be good, so getting her a vaccine is a must, however, she isn't known for cooperation.

Nui could and would cooperate but Ryuuko is a bit more stubborn, especially when she knows there will be pain involved. Of course, during her stay at the hospital and institution, she was poked and prodded at with needles and, as we could tell, she hated every bit of that and, once, decided to pull one out. She didn’t do that again because, well, the pain from doing it once shocked her, however, it didn’t stop her from gnawing at the tubes or sites where they put them at. She's concluded that she didn't like needles and neither did she like intravenous tubes or anything in which she'd view as causing pain.

I dreaded this bit, as, apparently, it seems, I would have to hold her down so she’d cooperate. I know she wouldn't like that but it'd have to be a necessary evil, after all, she's come a long way and it'd be devastating if she were to come down with the flu and end up hospitalized or worse. She has no concept of necessary evils. Vaccines are a necessary evil, regardless, if she hated the concept. I didn't want to put her through any semblance of pain, however, to keep her from getting sick, she'd have to experience something of a pinch.

 The moment she caught sight of the clinic, I could tell she was going to put up a fight and she did, complete with her usual trimmings of kicking and scratching and screaming, "No!" at the top of her lungs. We got her into the waiting room and we tried to calm her down, however, she wasn't having any of that, screaming "No!" and then "Pr’ick!" I was intrigued and I asked her if she meant something else but she just repeated the word with her usual upset inflection, leaving me to wonder if the word was her way of saying, "Ow!" or expressing pain, either that or she had learned a new name for someone, regardless, she's learned to associate the word with something negative.

  Likewise, she's associated hospitals and similar places to be negative, of course, that was a given, as, being poked and prodded at by strange people in a loud and bright place was one of the first things she's come to experience, judging it thusly. As said before, with her being such a rather fragile child with an equally fragile psyche, I would hate to make to her relive a traumatizing experience but, in this case, with her sister being ill with a virus that could put her in the hospital or worse, getting her a shot was a necessary evil.

  In simple enough terms, I tried to reassure her that, while it would hurt, getting sick would hurt more, along with that Satsuki said that she had to get a shot and the reason why was that she loved her, that she didn't want her to get sick. It seemed, for a bit, that she understood and, thus, she calmed down, ceasing her screams. It seemed she would cooperate, regardless if she was upset or had tears in her eyes. In that moment, she merely asked for a hug and she wouldn't let go.

  As I held her and while she cried out (and tried to swat the nurse giving it to her), she took her flu shot. She was upset, understandably so, but it had to be done. At least, I managed to get her to cooperate and, for a good year, she was safe from the same illness that plagued her sister.


	32. Ryuuko's Day Out

Outside? What outside?

        Going outside.

* * *

Oh man, Satsuki's going to be mad because I made a mistake and left the front door open. This is really bad because she doesn't know any better and social services almost took her away once. They just took away someone's kid for the same reasons, except that kid got into traffic but I hated the idea of Ryuuko getting herself into some trouble, especially since  she doesn't know any better and might get hurt (or worse).

* * *

 

        Outside bigger t'an house. House's smaller. Outside nice. O'er there?

* * *

I didn't think she could get very far, after all, she moved on all fours, but I was wrong to assume that she couldn't move fast, considering how she hid Satsuki's socks or my homework. I searched almost all of the surrounding vicinity but I didn't find her. It seems she managed to get further from our street than I had thought. I had almost panicked and I wasn't really sure as to what to do, alternating betwixt contacting the police or Satsuki.

Sats, obviously, is at work and she'd be damned if I called her to report an emergency during her work hours, after all, the last time she was called during work hours, her boss had nearly fired her and would have had she not have had the papers from the hospital to prove it. Granted, she was working overtime but work hours are work hours, even it's time overtime, and she really has a lot to worry about as it is. Regardless, calling her was out of the question.

So the idea fell to contact the police but then, however, I recalled that social services were called before and, odds are, if I go the police for this simple dumbass mistake, then, well, they'd call social services, especially considering how stunted Ryuuko is and that is a special point of interest. For all I knew, they'd really take Ryuuko away and, frankly, they wouldn't think to listen to Sats or my side of the story.

 Knowing both of those two conflicts, I opted to call Aikurou and tell him what happened. He wasted no time getting to me and asked me to backtrack, to which I relayed how Ryuuko got out after I had left the door open. After listening, he reassured me that what I've done was a mistake and that she'd be fine.

* * *

  Those. Fl'wers. Pretty fl'wers, yellow. Yucky! Don't eat. Didn't like, no, didn't like that! That yucky. Again, not doing that.

* * *

Walking around, we talked and looked for Ryuuko, with Aikurou saying, "I should have brought this up but, once we find Ryuuko, I think it'd be best to get her a medical bracelet with contact information." I was confused, as I didn't really know what that was. Granted, I've seen those medical bracelets before, typically when people have like allergies or whatevers but I didn't see as to how Ryuuko could need one. He explained that said bracelet could be useful in circumstances like these because Ryuuko is wary of strangers and things unfamiliar, along with that she doesn't communicate her needs well to those who don't understand, thus the bracelet would communicate what she can't.

  Of course, he did express his concern that social services would have a field day, honest mistake or not, and they might use what happened today alone as grounds to take Ryuuko away. I couldn't stand that and neither could Aikurou, thus giving a reason as to why he suggested what he suggested, along with that we should probably get a fence to keep her within grounds.

I told him that'd the latter one would be expensive, to which he said, "Yes, it would be, after all, but, if it's to keep Ryuuko safe, then, well, so be it, especially since the one of if not the first thing that ever comes to mind is how safe the home is. Ryuuko, through a mistake, got out and, now, we haven't too much of a clue as to where she is. If social services were to let her stay, then they'd demand that proper measures to be taken."

 

        As we looked for her and talked, Aikurou caught sight of a sock, Ryuuko's, and suggested that we follow it's direction.

 

* * *

Like t'is. Wet, brown, feels nice. Would Mam like? No, wet-brown dirty, Mam don't like dirty, keep wet-brown outside, Mam like it outside.

 

        Sock. Sock one, two feet, sock, sock not two. Where?

 

Ribbit?

* * *

  We asked around until we got a lead that said she playing in the park near a creek. We got there and, from what we could observe, she seemed to be amused by the animal, a frog, she was eyeing and copying its movements, trying to follow it. Before Aikurou went to grab at her, she reached out to poke it, hopping back when it hopped towards her. She wasn’t afraid, just startled.

  She picked it up before putting down and poking it again, getting something of a croak in return. She was confused by the noise, assuming the noise was what the creature was called, asking "Ribbit?" At least, she just touched the thing instead of putting it in her mouth. While she was watching the frog, Aikurou took his chance and grabbed her, saying, "Alright, you had your fun."

She was startled but alright, withdrawing her arms and legs like the last time. Later, when Satsuki got home, a very, very, very, long conversation came after. I just watched the two of them, Aikurou and Satsuki, talk and time seemed to be standing still. Ryuuko was unharmed and it was a simple mistake but I felt terrible. For all I knew, if Ryuuko was taken away, then it was my fault that she was. 

 

        After that conversation, we were ushered to bed. Sats said nothing and the next morning was followed by a cold silence.  


	33. An Investigation

It seems Ryuuko’s little adventure and Nui’s mistake wasn’t so easily ignored nor forgotten, as, two days afterwards, I had gotten a visit from a police officer and a social worker (not the same one, thank heavens). Typical of her shyness, Ryuuko stayed upstairs and away from visitors. They spoke with me and the conversation was about roughly an hour. I explained what happened, saying that Nui had left the door open after going outside for a moment and, when her back was turned, Ryuuko had got out.

  I was asked a slew of questions, including as to whether or not this sort of thing has happened before, to which I said, "No, it has not, this is first.” Sitting down, they asked further questions as to what our life was like and some of our history before. I told them that our mother had Ryuuko in secret and how no one knew of her for years, keeping her locked away in the cellar, along with telling them that our parents had died and that I am my sisters’ sole guardian, although I do get help from Aikurou and people I know. I told them that I worked often and is allowed few days off but, today, I am off because of extenuating circumstances. 

 They listened intently, took notes, and walked around the house, checking and prodding at things, seeing if things were up to code. The last bit of this inspection was to talk to Ryuuko. I guess our baby sister, despite being shy, seemed to sense something about this particular social worker and that she didn't shy away too much from the social worker. As I observed from a distance, Ryuuko was asked questions simple enough to her comprehension along with how she was and what she felt her life was like, to which she had, surprisingly answered (versus hitting or screaming).

As they were leaving, the social worker informed me that all things seemed up to code and that no charges would be brought against me, however, she did tell me that Ryuuko needs medical bracelet before handing me a card for said resources to obtain one.


	34. Fences and Bracelets

Since the mishap (as I'll put it), I got Ryuuko a medical bracelet. It wasn't the prettiest looking thing there was but it was necessary, regardless, if Ryuuko was annoyed with it (which she was, for obvious reasons). The fence took a bit longer and Ryuuko watched with anticipation as the fence was being put up. The noises would cause her go to the back of the house but she'd promptly return to observe the actions present.

 

        I oversaw this and, frankly, I doubt Ryuuko would be capable of climbing over it and neither did she know gates worked, thus I needn't worry too much about her trying to escape. Of course, she’d probably wonder if she should try clawing under it before coming to the conclusion to just stare at the damn thing. Once it was finished, I thought I’d let her outside to grow used this safety measure.

 

         Once outside, she sat for a while before coming towards the fence, shaking it, coming to the realization that it wasn't much different from what was in the backyard. She doesn't usually draw on past recollections but she did, it seems, connect the noise with my explanation of a fence being there for her safety.

 

        When her flashback ended, she decided that the fence was an amusing sort of the device, considering her shaking caused it to make noise and she decided she didn’t mind the noise.

       


	35. Pragmatics

I've somewhat dreaded this. It's a given and, frankly, I wondered if I should have tried to spare her from this. Of course, we have to provide for Ryuuko and bills are starting to mount. What forced this, especially, was the fact that my hours at my work were cut back and Aikurou can only help so much, thus Nui will have to pick up the slack. If I had any other choice, she wouldn't have to but we all knew this was to come.

She's submitted applications and, just recently, she was called for an interview in the upcoming two months. I went through a few motions with her, along with lamenting that she had to do this. Ryuuko, however, remained oblivious to what was going on but she did grasp that Nui might not be at home when either of us would be. Hopefully, her future employers won't make her work long hours to meet demands.

  Quietly, I wonder if I should find someone wealthy and get married just to secure a constitutable future. Of course, while I had the thought, I would find that to be far worse in comparison, as I'd probably be selling ourselves to a long life of misery. Likewise, I figured that the idea would make little sense as we don't live in any sort of dark or primitive ages where marrying into money was the thing that everyone did. For the longest, Ryuuko was the sacrifice for someone's rage but, honestly, I wish I could be the sacrifice to give Nui a much better life. I suppose life was cruel to me because I couldn’t, so I hadn’t the choice but allow her to surrender herself.

 Two months came and went, leaving Nui to leave for her interview the first thing in the morning, while Ryuuko waved goodbye before I carted her off to school. I could, subtly, feel my heart start to crack and thought, _I'm so sorry, Nui, please forgive me._


	36. Snow

Last winter, if I recall, it didn't really snow but, when it did, I don't remember letting Ryuuko outside to play in it. When she had first seen it, it terrified her but, now, she wasn't afraid, actually, she wanted to eat it. I saw no harm in this, initially, so I decided to bring her outside so she could explore that bit of curiosity.

 Holding her wrapped in a blanket and whatever strength I could (she is a little heavier than what she was before), I carried her outside and set her down. Like a baby, she pawed at the snow, picking it up lightly before dropping it. I would suppose that she had realized that the snow was very cold, as she quickly retracted her hand. She

 Stared at the snow for a moment before she reached down again and decided to plop a mass of it in her mouth. She was caught off-gaurd when she had figured out that snow turns to cold water.

 With eyes like pools, she looked at me while she drooled melted ice crystals.

 I’ve never seen a more comical look.


	37. Thoughts of the Future

 I suppose I had skirted around an issue. I've taken care of Ryuuko since she was rescued from the basement and, frankly, I couldn't think of anyone besides Nui, Aikurou, or I taking care of her in the coming years, however, I would be confronted with that issue, when Uzu asked, "What's gonna happen to her if something happens to ya'll?"

Time, it seems, stood still for a moment and that I was in a trance. I would snap out of it the moment Uzu tapped on my shoulder and repeating the question. _Be honest, Satsuki Kiryuuin, be honest!_ I told him that was question I didn't really have the answer to which he returned, "Oh, well, it's something to think about, as, I mean, ya'll can't take care of her forever." 

 I dreaded him saying that but I knew I couldn't be too upset with him for it, as he was right. In all this time I had spent caring for her, I would find myself admitting that I truly hadn't really thought of that. Besides the aforementioned, I genuinely worried about Ryuuko if something were to happen to either of us and I had hoped to delay coming to terms with that. At best, Ryuuko can state what she needs, feed herself, and, to some extent, dress herself, however, she has yet to learn how to use a toilet, as the flushing noise scares her, gets overstimulated really quickly, and the fact that she isn't too well-versed in social situations.

  Finding her a wonderful caregiver would be difficult, especially since so many would rather take in people of her sort for monetary gain, thus she'd be likely to be cared for properly, and the fact that she doesn't open up well to new people. As I thought of this, I would find myself going back to my thought process of marrying just to secure my sisters' future, however, be this as noted, I am not attractive by many means and neither had I too many gentleman callers. Of course, marrying for money and pragmatics, again, as I recall, would be futile as few do those things anymore and the fact that I would be tying us to a long life of misery.

Honestly, I wondered if I should ask Uzu to marry me but I sincerely doubt that he'd say "Yes" to the whole fiasco and, as I thought of that, I wondered what Aikurou would think. Of course, for all I knew, he’d mostly disapprove and, honestly, I can’t say I’d blame him for that, after all, he does put our well-being and happiness first and foremost. I suppose I could ask him what his advice towards such a procrastinated matter would be. I would guess that he hasn’t really thought about it.

Not too long, about a couple of days, afterwards, I would find myself asking him. To my expectations, he hadn't really thought about it but he did say that it was good we were thinking about it now. He explained that we had a long time before that point to think about Ryuuko’s future but it’s best to have something of a plan should worse come to worse.

 I told him of what my thoughts were before talking to him, to which he responded, “I suppose you could do that but I doubt that your father would like the idea, surely, one should marry for love, not money or pragmatics, and this isn’t the dark ages or whatever sort of flimflam. Likewise, your sisters would think you were sick, mentally, of course.”

"I suppose they would be right."

"Once again, you are making yourself the sacrifice. If anything, you're the glue that seems to be holding them together." 

"Yes, and I feel I have few other choices. Our inheritance from our family is dwindling, my job pays so little, Nui's had to get a job, and government checks don't contribute much. With those factors, I doubt there would be enough to have Ryuuko put in a home someplace nor do we know who to leave her with if worse comes to worse."

“I suppose this is true, however, it’s not unreasonable to worry about Ryuuko’s future.”

"No, it's not but, with all that's said and done, does she really have a chance at a future that will be with people who'll love her and where she'll live comfortably minus abuse?"

"Mmm, I would say that she does but, of course, I'm no soothsayer. This seems like a bridge we'll have to cross when we get to it."


	38. A Cane and, for once, a Full Sentence

I would say I had been aging prematurely, considering that caring for Ryuuko and worrying about things has done a number on me physically. Ryuuko was confused at this and she didn’t like the idea of my new device. A cane. I was in hurried denial that I needed such an object but I had injured my back quite severely or so the reasonable diagnosis would be, as there were many things that put a strain, so, to alleviate some of the discomfort, the doctor suggested I get cane, which was cheaper and better than a surgery (said also surgery being rather unnecessary).

  Nui helped me pick out a pretty one, one that was a silvery blue, and reassured me that I’d look rather glamorous with it. I suppose Nui and I would get used to it but Ryuuko, on the other hand, seemed to have despised the thing, actually, she took to being passive aggressive towards it and, by that, she would hide it, taking several chunks out of my day, as I would spend time looking for it.  When I would find it, she would try to take it. Practically, I had to wrestle her to keep her from taking it, putting more strain on my back.

  I took to putting it into a high up place, where her little hands couldn't get to it. Of course, that served to only upset her more, however, I didn't expect for her to be so vocal about it. She would express her dislike, mostly in utterances and gestures, but this time, she plainly said, "Ryuuko don't like that, no, Ryuuko hate that!"

Feigning innocence, I asked her as to what she didn't like, to which she pointed at the cane and said, "That!"

"Oh, the cane?"

She nodded.

"Why don't you like it?"

"Ju't don't, Ryuuko hate it!"

“Why?”

“Auugh! Jus’ do!”

Well, certainly, she was opinionated, that much we did know, however, she usually didn’t use full sentences or anything pertaining to herself in said sentences. Gently, I explained to her that I needed the cane because I had something of a bad back and the object wasn’t going to hurt anyone, her especially. Of course, she was stubborn and still proclaimed her opinion on the device, to which I said, “You’ll get used to it, eventually.”

The response I got was her shaking her head and an exclamation of frustration with her saying, “Mam don’t un’stand, don’t know why, but Mam don’t.” She walked away in a huff before glaring back at the cane hanging on the wall.

       


	39. Walker and a Bell

Ryuuko generally walked on all fours and, while we didn’t mind that tidbit, it was the fact that her hands were often dirty, especially when it came to unswept (or mopped) floors, and there was the fact that she seemed to be most reliant on her arms, so, after much discussion, we decided to get a Ryuuko a walker. Of course, she was opinionated about this and showed little but hostility towards it. I explained to her that it was for her benefit and that she’d grow used to it, to which she insisted, “Wheelchair!” As I made note, little about her statement made sense, after all, her wheelchair was for when we’d take her out and, if we were at home, she’d just sit in it. 

A walker, however, was for her to use inside, more specifically on the lower level of the of the house, and, as we all know, if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have brought it, after all, she needed to exercise her legs. Impatience, especially with a stubborn baby sister, will bring no rewards, so I suppose I’d let her get used to the device and ease her into its use. If she wasn’t hostile towards it, then she showed no interest in it, just indifferent to it, almost as if it were another piece of furniture.

As noted multiple times before, we know she can be stubborn and that stubbornness turned into defiance. She refused to use it and she would refuse to acknowledge that it was there. I started to wonder if the idea of getting her the device made any sense, especially since she did roam around on all fours and would only stand on two legs. I wanted what was best for her and, I’ll admit, I’ve coddled her, it seems, a bit too much.

  Mentally, average intelligence or not, she was still a toddler and toddlers can be strangely resolute, especially with matters they don’t understand, thus she was no different. She hated the idea of the walker and couldn’t grasp how such a device would be beneficial to her. Maybe I was overthinking it and Nui would presume that I was, especially when she, for some reason decided to attach a little bell to it.

The idea caught her attention, especially since the bell rang when she moved the walker. She was confused, initially, before she figured out that she needed to hold with her hands and push it around with her feet, ringing the bell. I would guess that she found the bell ringing a pleasant sound, considering she didn’t bother to run from it, instead, she was intrigued, practically charmed. From then on out, she started to use the device, as long as she could ring the bell when she did it.  

       


End file.
